Narcassistic...and I Hate Myself

I was going to kill my self. (5 mins ago) my hands are shaking. No one knows the real me. I ********** to pictures of myself. I watch alot of *********** of women being...well raped.....i am a beautiful young lady. Isnt that nuts. I know what that feelz like. It never leaves u. My story isnt as bad as the next kids you will read. I get so angry....soooooo furious, usaully because i misinterpurt people actions or words. I cant take your medicine. I cant breathe on it. People at wrk think im high when i do. I fanticise about hurting p3ople who have wrong me. I think all men are evil. I think your talking about me (rite now) no one believed me. I dropped the case when the lawyer said " honey u have about a 20% chance of winning this thing...i mean, the guy " must" be a good liar"....the shrink wonts return my calls....i owe them 1,568 dollars. I need help. I want to die. But i bave dreams often of being stuck on earth and no one can see or hear me? Does anyone else feel pain so deep in the pit of their chest its border line physical hurt? I hear voices out of noices. All i can talk about is paranoid. Last year i told the shrink im going to push all my freinds away...iam a laughingstock...and i finally did loose everyone. And myself.

I just wanna hear some say its okay....i hallucinate too. Please tell me u still hold a good job and that u hide it too...until ur alone and then it comes.

imgivingup imgivingup
May 10, 2012