Wish I Never Did

so there was this dude that i kinda had a crush on last year, and i just thought he was sooo cutee. and i think he may have even thought i was pretty because he was always complimenting me, and saying that i was a nice person. so i don't know why i had to be stupid and do what i did....i won't go into detail about what exactly it was, but i will say that it involved facebook, and it was stupid and immature. the bad part was he could've totally never found had it not been for one of my "friends". afterwords he just stopped talking to me cause he thought i was a stalker and weirdo and he told all his friends. i was sooo embarrassed and i hated myself. i tried to talk to someone but they would just shrug their shoulders and say its no big deal. but it was to me. at the end of the day, because of my stupid choices, i ended up looking like a loser, and was laughed at. it still bothers me even after a year. i have a freakin class with him and its horrible. specially since his friend is in that class. he kinda ignores me, and i don't think he told anyone other than his friends...but its just soo awkward and everytime i see him i'm reminded of the past. i still feel like a loser. and the girl who had told him everything was all like "omg i wouldve been soooo embarrassed to have a class with him!" well hell yeah i am. I'm still hurt by the aftermath of it all. and i don't think even knows that. its painful. and i always wonder if he ever consideredmy feelings. but i guess that doesn't matter to him. i just wanna rewind back to the day when he found out and act like i didn't care. now i know i can trust no one. but im no fool. i own up to what i did, and i know im not a bad person. i just made a mistake. don't we all? i try and act like it doesn't bother me anymore, but it does....i'm waiting for the day when it no longer hurts and i can walk past him with no regrets.
mrsfosterthepeople mrsfosterthepeople
13-15, F
Dec 2, 2012