I Am Always Sad But Try to Hide

I am always sad. and I hate it. I dont really have any good reason for being so depressed all the time, the only problem is me, so I should beable to fix it, right?

I always try to keep a smile on my face and always have something nice to say and act like I just feking love life all the feking time when im around my friends and family. But im becoming so fed up. and feeling so fake. I feel like noone knows me. and im afraid that i will lose everything if people knew the 'real' me.

pine90apple pine90apple
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 24, 2009

You are having trouble because the positive mask and image you project is inconsistent with how you really feel inside. I hear you. I understand what you are saying. Many people, myself included, are battling depression or other near constant state of feeling bad, depressed, blue, angry, or just sad during the day and night. Like you, it can be pervasive and persistent inside my head. For now, don't worry about losing anyone if they find out what you are really thinking. Instead, you need to decide (or not) if you are ready to begin to make some changes to beat down the persistent feeling of being sad. There are people who can help you with this process. I'm listening here.

Thanx for the comment. There are people I could talk to, but they dont want to hear it, it would be cruel to tell them. I know how it feels to be the shoulder ppl cry on, to have to worry about ppl. its not nice, u just want them to be happy and ok. I dont want to make them worry or feel like they have to care when they have their own problems to deal with. Its just not fair to them.

It must be very hard to do all of that every day. Is there someone you can talk to about how you're feeling? A friend or someone you can trust? I think it's time for you to put yourself first. Worry about your needs instead of everyone else's. I bet you have plenty of good qualities that help define the "real you."