Tired An Wore Out:

My Husbane past 2007, we were married fo 38 years.  I have been trying to be so strong.  First i lost our home i did not know what i was going to do or where i was going to go live.  I have 2 wonderfull sons there both married and i have 3 grandchildren.  So, my boys set me up in a condo, and emergency thing to fix the problem. I was not making much money at the time because i was having my wages garnished. I pulled bank ruptcy in 2008 to solve that problem but my credit was not good after that. I got real sick in 2009 my doctor did not know what was wrong with me after so many months of treating me she sent me to another Doctor, she found out i had a very upper respitory Staff infection it was all threw my body she treated me for 4-5 monthes befor it went away.
 I do have a job.  I work for Food Service for a city school system i have worked there for 10 years an loved it. I started working 2 jobs to make it.  After a while
the School job was going to shut down some schools or chang some schools to something else to keep them open.  Our school was changed to an all boys school with less students,  i was shipped to another school for awhile.  In the mean time of all that drama i had congestive heart faller
and i had dehydration an my kindeys were shutting down, i was in the hospital for a week.  Then i got sent to another school, i had to drive 45 miles a day to get to work an the way gas prices were it was tuff to do. At this school o had the Manager from H-----L i ended up almost having a nervous break down from this manager, and i was not the only one either that reported her. My Doctor wants me out of there or on leave so i can get my self an my blood presure down.
That is where i am now in my life.  Still wondering what i am going to do, where i am going to work, and how things in the future are to be.  I have to work till i am 60 to get my husbane widow pension, i hope i can last that long with what ever comes my way.
I do have the beast thing you can have in life and that is GOD he has brought me threw all this an he will bring me out of this depression an worry an health problems.  
That is my story, it will get better with the grace of GOD.

lduck53 lduck53
1 Response Apr 14, 2011

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You sound really depressed and I don't blame you. It's good you have faith but sounds like you need to get out of a rut. If you could go to counselling somehow, that would help you to move forward. I know health issues seem to be hindering your progress but maybe, some of the health issues have to do with your mental state. I am seeing a counseller now and it has helped me so much to cut through past hurts or barriers. There are free services around or some charge ba<x>sed on your income. Think about it.....it has made such a difference in my life.