Yep, Always.Even a couple of cups of coffee every single day seem to do nothing to relieve this fatigue. And, when I had a job, I used to drink up to ten cups of coffee a day, and I [still] couldn't function or think straight. And it was hard because I had to deal with hotel guests (I was working in housekeeping). I've tried exercising, and that usually makes me feel worse. On top of that, I get more than 8 hours of sleep of every day... The fatigue is always there... I almost always feel drained, and confused. It has been this way for quite a long time, in fact, I think I've lived with this constant tiredness for more than a decade. Some days, I feel like I'm in a constant state of delirium.
Ever since I could remember, I've always been sluggish and slow, and lethargic. What comes easy for other people - functioning - is an absolute burden for me. I just never have the energy, or the motivation to do anything meaningful. I've lost almost everyone from my life over the years, because I just didn't feel like hanging out with them. And I still don't. In fact, most days, I just don't feel like doing anything. And I just can't seem to think straight, or remember things, in fact, my mind just doesn't work the majority of the time. It feels extremely hazy... And that's during my best days. I have a LOT of days where it's, quite literally, impossible to have a conversation. Even during those rare moments that I actually know what to say, and I'm able to respond, I just can't seem to spit out the right words.
I don't say much, I move slowly, I talk slowly, and I'm stiff like a board. And the majority of people think that I'm stupid or slow, so they just don't bother with me. And I don't get a whole lot of social interaction, which has led to my increasingly poor social skills. It usually takes me an hour to do anything, and people end up getting fed up with me. I get out of bed each day, and it usually takes at least 5 to 6 hours before I'm even awake. My past couple of jobs have been afternoon and night shift. Because mornings just zap the lifeforce out of me, and I just can't seem to function for the rest of the day.
I've tried to narrow down the potential cause for this extreme tiredness, and brain fog. And I've considered the possibilities:
Major depression (which I'm currently on medication for)
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Mild Anemia (which I have been diagnosed with).
Some have told me, in the past, that I needed to get out more, and start doing things. But there's nothing to do. And I almost NEVER have the energy or the motivation, or even the willpower to do anything. Even when I do, I almost NEVER do it properly. Life just doesn't seem to interest me. And the things that do interest me, give me little (if any) satisfaction.
deleted 26-30 2 Responses 2 Sep 25, 2012