I Don't Belong

In this white pasted world with plastic people. If it gets too hot they will all melt and dribble down into hell and I won't be sorry for most of them really for the hell they made me go through. My hair is growing out my tears and a gentle breeze talks to me, touching my face like a brother's kiss. The skyline imprisons the earth and cold grey concrete is cracked where a seed dared to grow waiting for feet to tred upon it. I have a squashed heart the doctors say and each day I should not be here, but The Creator says differently and my herbs and things are better than any pills I cannot even pronounce. I never want to die in a prison of white hospital walls. give me a breeze clean from rain or the sea and I will lift my wings and fly upwards, spiraling with my wings. I dreamed I was a panther and a pychologist swears I turned into one and sat on his bed and my ex says he saw me near his place as a big mean cat. I do not know if this is right or wrong but I have had dreams.... I reach out to others and care and saw an indian boy so beautiful curled into a ball on a cold yellow school bench, the indoctrination of the day done and the yellow and black cattle trucks lined up to catch each child one by one assembly line cardboard cookie cutouts. Like clouds going nowhere or hampster people. If I did turn into a cat and it was not run I would rip apart the people who love to rip apart the innocent and who steal beauty taking joy to turn it ugly. If I were a scorpion I would bite them, a spider and i would crawl deep where they do not know in the dark and wait until they sleep. I smell a wind of change and of what has been and what could be and I see the stars smiling down at me. The legends that the indians once rode the skies as starpeople or met them and became part of them and learned responsibility of being. Every breathe is a gift. To love and really love is a warm blanket on a cold day in the heart. To see the beauty of the rainbow and ask is any color better? Ask The Creator. Ugliness has no boundaries, yet why do we take the brunt of things, just because we're "indians?"
stargazer2 stargazer2
46-50, F
May 8, 2012