Paralyzing Helplessness

I have several stories but I will begin with the most recent. A few months ago, I had lived in the streets of California. A group of friends and I all witnessed a stationary, flashing "thing" in the sky. It would flash red, blue,and some kind of off white. Since we were all accustomed to sleeping under the stars, we all knew what stars and planets look like in the night sky. I had to return to my family on the east coast rather abruptly. I was finally home and safe. One night, I look out of my window and see the same stationary lights. It's as if this thing followed me. i went to bed that night and had "nightmares". I never had good dreams, all my life. In the dream, I was in the Californian Redwoods again, being led around by an entity who resembled a man that I had grown to harbor an intense disdain. I remember wanting to 'get my sleeping bag out of the water' because we had walked by a structure that manifested into my sleeping bag. At least, that is what my mind wanted to see. I walk towards it and this entity reasserted whatever control it had over me to lead me some place. I distinctly remember wanting to wander off but I could not muster the mental fortitude to break this 'spell'. The woods were decimated. Tree stumps everywhere. Behind a hill, there was a very bright light and I remember humanoids going to and from this bright light over the hill. The next thing I can consciously remember is being led to a bathroom but it wasn't a bathroom. When I can see, the image of the person I do not like was holding his head at his waist like it was a helmet. The helmet had a blank stare and smile on its face. At this point, I knew I was in some kind of observation room. When I tried to look at the creature's face, where the head should have been, all I had seen was darkness. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't force my mind to see it. It didn't like that and a wave of the worst, most crippling fear I had ever felt in my life washed over me. I have been to jail, fought men, conquered my own phobias. This was worlds beyond that sort of fear. My gut cramped and I curled up under the 'toilet'. I felt like a pet. I felt like I was food. I was lowered onto my bed and I remember thinking that I could see the stars through my ceiling. I saw two 'stars' race away in opposite directions in the starry, night sky. The most prevalent thought was, 'Those look like ufos.' Then, my ceiling reformed. I woke up quite suddenly and went about my day, hiding the disturbed nature of this event. I could laugh it off. Until, I saw the lights again the next night and heard something land on my roof. Much heavier than a bird but lighter than a man. I heard nails rapping and that wave of panic took me again. I had tried to fall asleep with the lights on that night but as I was beginning to drift off, shrill tones woke me. Shrill and disturbing tones. Like an unnatural language. I don't sleep at night anymore. I cannot relate to people at all. I want to run from them but they apparently followed my clear across America. I have never experienced a fear so 'intangibly real' while in some kind of dream state.
VikVader VikVader
31-35
May 22, 2012