A Beautiful Mistake

 When I was 14 I got drunk for the first time then I started smoking marijuana, I got arrested my second time smoking marijuana. Great start to a promising career! Well then my family moved to greenville south carolina, and thats where I fell. I started to experiment with anything and everything from lsd to cocaine and all the way back again. I graduated high school in 2000, and decided to take a break from school. Well I met a girl from zimbabwe, martha. She was one of the most amazing people ive ever met. She was a meth dealer and I started to snort and then smoke methamphetamines. My life was getting even more and more out of control. My family moved to Providence Rhode Island, I stayed in greenville. Eventually it got so bad that I moved up to Providence to get off the dope. Well I turned right back to drinking and anything I could get my hands on. I was working for my father in a steel plant. One day at work I decided to go home and commit suicide. Looking for at least one good reason not to off myself I turned to the United States Navy for help. Things got good for a while then my Bipolar disorder came to surface. I am currently 3 days sober, back in september I flipped my car at 100mph, in august i wrecked my crotch rocket at 80mph. I should be dead, not a scratch. I want to live for my daughter and my baby on the way. I need all of your help. thanks   -SNACKMACHINE-

snackmachine snackmachine
26-30, M
2 Responses Mar 8, 2009

I think the fact after everything you have been through and are not dead yet shows you should NOT be dead. I have a story to a lot to do with drugs but the ONE thing over ANYTHING that keeps me from killing myself is my Son. In fact since he is 14 I know it would push him into drugs. There is addiction on both sides of his parents. Please think of you children it will destroy them no matter their age. Peace be with you

i feel ur pain. i may be only 16. but i can relate i am bipolar too and i do anything i can get my hands on.. i used to be very suicidal and depressed but its not as bad as it used to be.. i started going out and meeting friends.. i had it all planned i was going to commit suicide but something stopped me. ur alive today for a reason. u have another chance to get ur life togethter. the past is over. u can start over for urself and ur kids. live for ur children. bc they need u. they need a dad... my dad was never around. ur not alone. we r all here for u.:]