This Is From My Blog.

I know, people will say, " you dont need to get high" well buddy, I do. I go crazy if I don't. I get depressed, I isolate, I get angry. I get paranoid-just to name a few. I haven't gotten high in a few days, so today was really hard to deal with. I feel like a bum, but, I didn't think, i just did it. I did the old school paper bag and spray paint. I feel weird when I say I am an addict, I am in total denial. I just can't help it. I need to get high.

VictemOfSuicide VictemOfSuicide
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 9, 2010

It seems that non-addicts, or those who haven't experienced first hand the daily struggle that recovering addicts go through don't understand that a person can't just will it away and stop. They don't understand that an addicts desire to drink or get high truly is a "need".<br />
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My sister will be celebrating twenty years clean and sober in a few months, and often reminds me that if she didn't have a strong support system, she would have never made it this far. For her, she gains strength in AA meetings - talking with others who share in the same daily struggle, but meetings certainly aren't for everyone. I think that as long as an addict has at least one person to talk with, someone who has seen or experienced the depths of addictions, that's at least a start down a healthier road. In the very least, judging from the responses to your posts, you should (hopefully) be able to find like minded, non-judgemental people on here.

I hate to be emotional, but it feels so good, so good for someone to get this. My whole family doesn't understand and they think I can "just stop". I just can't. Finally, I don't feel so crazy. Thank you.

I know exactly what you mean...I am soooooo right there with you...while I've never done the "huffing" thing, I DO resort to vodka...and I NEVER drink alcohol when either pot or hydrocodone is available..