Help!! Two Boys With Add/adhd And Stuck!

I have two sons and one daughter. Only the boys have ADD/ADHD - one has ADD the other ADHD. Two completely different animals in my view but both are facing a major uphill battle. We are trying to work with the schools and it has been absolutely enraging. We have just hired an advocate and have a meeting for the oldest son, 13, tomorrow. I am so frustrated with my sons, the schools and everyone in between I could just scream!! The schools just don't seem to care. They push us off year after year. We got the oldest a 504 plan and thought we had made the right steps to helping him. The school however blatantly ignored the 504 and have treated him awfully. He is a twice exceptional child with an IQ that would give Einstein a run for him money, yet he is barely squeeking by with C's now. He was a straight A student until 5th grade when it became his responsibility to keep track of his assignments in a an agenda. It was like the kiss of death - that agenda. He aces his tests for the most part, but his missing work or forgetfulness on studying have all but taken away his chances to continue in advanced placement courses. If he is put in mainstream course it will be disasterous I am sure of it. He will be even more bored and give up completely. We already hear him say he "doesn't care about anything anymore". He thinks most of the classwork is pointless and thinks his teachers hate him. He is does not have behavior problems in class but just daydreams and taps his fingers. This has caused one teacher to put him in a chair facing the class - which is even more embarrassing to him and makes him hate the class even more. This is a kids who at the age of seven was contemplating infinity and reading Stephen Hawking books. At age 13 now he doesn't want to even pick up a book.

 

We are watching him slowly and painfully deteriorate. I need to know what we can do for him?! What works for these kids? Agendas, calendars - did nothing but add more to what he looses track of. What do we ask the teachers to do? I know the advocate is working on a plan, but I want to know what I can do at home and what I should expect of the school and the advocate to come up with. We have forced our son to read Seven Habits for Effective Teens. We have spent hundreds of dollars on meditation DVDs and workshops for organization skills. He cannot take meds - in fact both boys have ahd advserse reactions to both stimulants and non-stimulants so we cannot give them meds for it anymore.

 

Is there a magic formula here that we cna do at home and specific accomdations that work better than others? Help!!!

gerrynchappster gerrynchappster
36-40
3 Responses Feb 17, 2010

what about a gifted program designed for gifted students

well according to two seperate docs one definately has ADD - non hyper, however he is also extremely gifted and he is in the advanced program at school. However he can't even remember to wash his hair in the shower or where he put his shoes let alone where his text book is or where he put the homework he spent hours on the night before. So yes, I would have to say it is ADD.<br />
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my other son is very hyper and was also diagnosed with ADHD, in fact was in the 99% on the test results for ADHD. he is very fidgety and cannot sit still for anything. he is also very bright and he is very artistic. <br />
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neither child fits into the "conventional" old-fashioned classrooms, but unfortunately in order to get where they want to go in life, they have to find a middle ground and do the work like the teachers ask them to do. <br />
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I don't want them to be drones - I encourage out of the box thinking, and here we go with the unfortunate part again - most public schools don't really want a child to think outside the box because that would mean they would have to work harder to keep those kids interested. <br />
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I wish I could move out of this country and find a place that did want kids to actualy USE their gifts and their minds - ugh! but I am here and I need to find away to help my two boys so they don't become statistics. One wants to be the next Bill Gates and the other envisions himself as the next Chip Foose (car designer). I just need to find out what our rights are in order to afford them the right to the education they need to get where they need to go.

do your kids even have adhd or does the kid you describe need a gifted program because he is just bored stiff