I'm Such A Liar To Everyone That's In My Life.

I was a bit upset the entire day
Yesterday I had this conversation with my housemate, and we get along great.
But all of the sudden he was like "You know, I think you aren't just depressed because of personality issues but I think you have an eating problem"
And I just froze on the inside and my heart was pounding like crazy but my face felt like steal.
I just stood there denying everything because I felt sooo ashamed, because it's such a huge deal to me

When he stopped questioning me I felt relieved because I was on the assumption that he believed my everything I lied
I'm the worst liar in the world and I was in shock I could lie like that at that moment, I still feel literally sick about it
I never thought I could look somebody straight in the eye and lie about the one thing that consumes me 24/7.
It was like the ED did the talking for me and I'm going to be stuck with it for a long time and I have to learn how to cope with it 
I feel like I keep stooping lower and lower
Nuella Nuella
26-30, F
1 Response May 25, 2012

I lie too. I'm 41 years old and I've been lying all my life. I lie to my mom, my husband my daughter, my priest and even myself. No one knows my every moment is consumed with what to eat, what not to eat, how much I weigh.....how can I be thinner...thinner....thinner

its so hard isnt it ... im going trough hell