I Am An African American Lesbian
Four years ago, I hit a place of discovery. Well, it was first a place of understanding. I was 36. I had accomplished my professional and educational goals. And, I realized what I was missing in my life. I wanted intimacy…true intimacy of the mind, spirit and body. I had only had one serious relationship and that was from age 16-26. Ten years later, I had experienced some serious infatuations but nothing that led to anything substantial. It was not that they were "unqualified" . Quite the contrary! I was fortunate to attract and interact with men that measured up to what I thought I wanted. As most people do when they mature, I started realizing that I was not fulfilled with what I thought I wanted. So, I destroyed my "list of qualifications" and simplified my desires. I simply wanted to have a connection that was nurturing, inspiring and stimulating. Once I was able to give voice to this inner desire, my mind began to question if what I was seeking was actually found in a woman. Being progressive and open-minded, I began to explore women (in an on-line, anonymous-kind-of-way). After a couple of hit and misses, I actually stumbled across a woman that I thought could be the woman of my dreams. In her arms, I experienced a new level of fulfillment. We had incredible talks. We had fun together. We love to party and we loved deep intellectual conversations. Things were not perfect, but I liked what I experienced with her far greater than I had experienced in all of my years of dating. Our relationship did not last beyond the year because she and I both needed some things that the relationship could not afford. It was the most difficult break up that I ever experienced but it I am forever grateful for my time with her. Since then, I have dated other women (including one serious relationship) and I now have an even stronger desire for those qualities that I believe women bring to a relationship. It is not just because she is a woman. I believe it is her essence that makes her alluring. I need compatibility, respect, ambition, and genuine curiosity. I find this combination in women far greater than finding it in men. Whether I am a black lesbian or is not really the issue. The issue is “compatibility, respect, ambition, and genuine curiosity". I embrace this a fundamental need and I embrace those that can bring it.
Are there others out there who can understand or relate to my story?
Are there others out there who can understand or relate to my story?