Anxiety Spiked... Help!

Hey everybody,

So my fiance is in the process of joining the Air Force. I have been doing a ton of research and have actually been getting excited about this new adventure in our lives. My brother is in the marine corps and he is married so I am quite familiar with how things work and I am also aware of the downside of being a military wife. I am excited to (hopefully) live on base and (hopefully) get a job on base as well. I am also looking forward to connecting with other wives and I think I have been doing quite well with looking at the bright side of things.

So where does my anxiety come in? Well, my fiance and I have had a rough ride. We are two months away from getting married and there have been times where I have asked "am I making the right choice?" "what if we end up as just another divorce statistic?" and that really freaked me out and put a strain on our relationship. However, I have learned that real love is not flowers and chocolates everyday, him being "prince charming" or always giving me butterflies in my stomach. Its about having fundamental problems that every couple will have and sticking together through them and working them out maturely and rationally. And while I may have those fears and anxieties on the surface, something deep down keeps me going and keeps reassuring me that things really are going to be OK and I just need to take that leap of faith.

well... on my quest to find out as much about the air force as possible I stumbled across these people saying how sucky military wife life is and how no couple ever makes it out and that everyone gets divorced. Talk about putting a wrench in my anxiety recovery! I know that there are long periods of time where I won't be with my husband (basic training, tech training, deployments etc.) but I have always had a certain strength in that area where I know I will be OK. However, it was so sad to read some of the things I saw. Especially since I am a young bride....

Any advice? Any encouraging words when it comes to dealing with a military marriage? Any seasoned military wives out there that can tell me how their marriage has made it through the years of separation?

Thanks for listening to my woes.

livimo livimo
18-21, F
2 Responses Jun 28, 2012

I am in just about the same situation! My question is are me and my fiancé able to get married after basic training when he's going into the actual training for the Air Force? He's skeptical an i already know its a yes, but he's still very unsure!

Hello(: I am new on here, and I saw your post...My husband and myself just got married on July 27th. as of Monday, Oct. 1st he left for bootcamp, well Montgomery then San Antonio.
Let me just say this about the whole getting married thing, I went through the SAME EXACT feelings the day of my wedding. It was horrible, but I knew this was the man I was going to marry. And he has stood beside me through the most aweful times and good times. Somehow, we have managed to get through it.
I feel like if you love someone that much to commit to them in front of God and everyone, then you can get through the hard times with him being gone. It's funny I should take some of my own advise on this.
But anyways, keep your chin up. Basic is only 50 days, supposedly...I'm not 100% sure right now. lol. but I would love to have a friend on here that shares the same worries as me...and someone to talk to.
Pray for you(: Mrs. Self