I Am A Selective Alcoholic

I've had a drinking problem all my adult life but never thought of myself as an alcoholic until a year ago.  Prior to last year, I always thought I was a heavy social drinker that couldn't control myself.  However, with work and personal stresses mounting up last year, I began to drink more heavily and more frequently, often getting drunk 3-4 times a week.  I stopped for about 4 months at the end of last year which was fantastic.  I was never fitter or leaner than that time !  However, I lost my job in February and started drinking again.  My drinking patterns change and now I drink alone at home.  That's why I call myself a selective alcoholic.  I dont drink in public or social situations and I dont get any cravings as well.  I only drink late at night when the house is asleep.  Then I usually drink about half a bottle of brandy or vodka.  Its because I cant sleepo that I drink.  At times, I can stop for 1-2 nights and be dry. Then I trick myself into drinking the next night. The weird thing is that I dont get hangovers and can function pretty normally the next day if I have enough sleep.  But I am sick of drinking. I dont enjoy it.  I have been attending AA meetings but it hasnt really worked yet.  I am not convinced in my heart that I am helpless with alcohol though my brain tells me this is so.
Catatac Catatac
41-45, M
4 Responses Jul 16, 2010

I never tried AA but one thing that worked ( at least, I think it helped ) is that I told all of my friends that I quit and that I want to stay off of the bottle. Some of them did not believe me. Some of them encouraged me. Some of them said they will avoid offering me drinks. Some of them were jealous and wished they had the strength to quit too. <br />
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Just making a public declaration of your intent can boost your confidence.

@fishwhisperer: I sent you an email

I am in the same boat. Haven't tried AA...I just think I need someone as JOLLYONE mentioned...a buddy system. <br />
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I drink a pint of vodka almost every other day by myself at home. I have my husband here and my kids. I like my life; I love my kids and husband. But the alcohol has always been there. It is almost like a friend that you want to get rid of but can't figure out how. It has been there thru my rough times and good times and I know I have a problem...I know I need to let it go but it's grip on me is soooo strong.<br />
My family has a history but that is just an excuse. <br />
Hey...just a thought...if you end up reading this Catatac, would you be willing to be a buddy? Sounds stupid but perhaps it is worth try...let me know....

Sorry to hear that AA Isn't working for you yet, the best part towards recovery is realizing that you have a problem in the first place, I have a friend with the same problem and she is possibly a bit like you, starts drinking about 4.30pm and gets pretty trollied judging by the crazy text messages she sends me and yet no hangover and quite normal the next day. Unsure how AA works but perhaps try another organisation there should be plenty around. The hardest part is saying NO to that first drink there should be a buddy system someone to call when you get those urges. Hope you can find another place take care