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Lesson Learned

I have had many, many ups and downs from drinking for years (and drug abuse). I've had too many "sloppy" nights that are hazy, and a dozen full out black out nights where I have to be informed of my actions the next day, but I've always been with friends or boyfriend to take care of me and get me home alive.
One night recently was different, and a true wake up call for me. I went out with some friends. I drank, boy did I drink. The last thing I remember was doing shots at the bar, and then next thing I know Im in the back of a "cab" (later learned was a police car) covered in my own vomit and fighting to stay awake. Yep.
The time in between was filled in for me. I'm told by my friends that I continued to drink at the bar, had shots bought for me, etc, and then was falling down so much that security had me escorted out. Sad to say thats not nearly the first time I've been kicked out of a bar for being too drunk, but I've always left with people. This time I left by myself, I guess my friends assumed I would just get in a cab and get home (and for all I know maybe I told them I would, as I said I have NO memory).
Well as far as I know I did get in a cab..who knows if I wandered around by myself for a while first..but literally the only memory I have after doing shots at the bar is falling on to the sidewalk right on my face, and hearing my cab driver say "no no no!" I was kicked out of that cab for throwing up, and waited god knows where and for how long for another cab to get me. When it did I passed out in that cab, and when he arrived at my house I didn't wake up. I have a brief memory being half-conscious and hearing the driver say "I'm calling the police" but I was so out of it I didn't know what was happening. The police arrived and moved me from the cab to the cop car, and took my ID to my parents to inform them I was parked out front, and needed my cab ride paid and to be taken inside. Apparently they had also put my jacket in a bag because I thrown up all over it. Again, I remember none of this.
All I can say looking back is that I'm lucky to be alive after that night. I have no memory of being at the bar for the last hour or two, no memory of getting kicked out, no memory of getting in one cab, no memory of being kicked out of one cab and waiting for another (I only know that because apparently I told my family thats what happened when I was still drunk); no memory of anything. I could have been raped, I could have stumbled in to traffic, I could have been picked up by a random car instead of a second cab, I could have died from alcohol poisoning. Luckily I made it home alive with just some bruises, vomit, and an embarrassing night that I will NEVER forget. I am so thankful that I made it through that night and did not become another statistic of all the people you hear about who never wake up, or are never seen again.
I will never drink that much again. I have made that promise to myself way too many times before, but that was at times where all I was feeling was some embarrassment over a drunken night, and I quickly would forget my "promise" after the embarrassment wore off.. This is different. I realise how many horrible things could have happened to me that night, and I can't always rely on other people to get me home alive, I need to always be in control of myself to make it home safe, and that night I was the complete opposite. I will never, ever put myself in to that situation again. Thank God for being there for me that night.
Lily911 Lily911 22-25 Apr 28, 2012

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