How Bad Does It Have To Get?

Im not going to write a big drunkalog with my story, or blame my ****** childhood, fate, misfortune. I will say though that i am a product of my upbringing. Drinking was a way of life and wanted to be like everyone else in our family. The kegger parties my folks and most relation had were a blast. Specially for us kids and i loved the taste of beer and i liked how it made me feel. Hair of the dog that bit ya was common place and also became my mantra. For me i could not stand the hangovers and trying to stay drunk all the turns a guy into a binge drinker. I had all the reasons as my drinking was causing all kinds of problems. Relationships, work, legal you name it as i had it going on all at the ripe age of 18. None of my friends had these problems and i kinda acted up as i drank people friends, family all said i might want to ease up on the drinking. I had got 2 OWI's within a month both resulting in totaled vehicles. My girlfriend recieved a concussion and i continued to drink. I didnt have a problem as i blamed everything on others,and started to isolate and the joy of drinking alone. My g/f left me and the bars were nearby, still had my job, life was sort of good drunk or drinking every day, even at work. Well you can guess how that turned out. Now not having a job and no money coming in i turned to a new kind of work. I knew of a few places that would be easy targets to get some alcohol. A crafty burgalar i would become. I had a few successful hits and one not so good is a mild understatement. A good thief usuaully doesnt pass out and fall asleep in the place being robbed. And that place being the home of family friends just made it so much worse. I was really bouncing on the bottom rung of life so depressed and no hope i became suicidal. How i survived that time in my life i will never know maybe it was the rehab that took a nudge from a judge got me to my 1st AA meeting. I just turned 22. I found it kinda strange how people could openly put themselves out there. So much friendship and caring. I wanted what they had but found it difficult for me to talk at all. I could still drink, i come from a long line of drinkers i will just tone it down a bit. It is true what they say that alcoholism is a progressive disease and when an alcoholic takes a drink things pretty much pick up were they left off. I ended up on probation for my burglury disaster and even the threat of prison didnt stop me from drinking. I was in my own little world. Where were those AA people that wanted to help me? The part of AA i didnt get was being open and honest, oh and not to drink and to call before that 1st drink. I needed another detox and a rehab and start over. Where im from in and around central Wi. was good as there is a Tri. county health care facility, and would never turn anyone away. Its not free and they send you a bill but if you have no money it just goes with all the other un paid bills. Any ways i was going to get it right this time. Living at home, no job, no drivers license and move to the big city of Wausau. I would be able get around much better, job outlook was better and AA meetings every day. Thats what i needed, a fresh start. I will continue this in my next story as i want to get this one out :)
don134186 don134186
51-55, M
1 Response May 23, 2012

You are berry brave...<br />
Thank you for touching my heart with your honesty!<br />
Find joyinthejourney, clg ; ~. )