Emptiness Of Soul Like An Empty Bottle.
I first drank around 14 years old. Didn't really like it but it got me out of my shyness. After the Gulf War in 1990-1991 I was diagnosed after four years with severe anxiety disorder. So it took a while but I found out that alcohol calmed me down and took away my panic attacks and anxiety. I was not seeing a doctor so I was self medicating. This seems good at first but always leads to needing more. I went 8 days without drinking. Then one day I just felt like it and the desire was strong. I told myself what would happen and it did yet I did it all anyways. So stupid, I know I'll end up hungover feeling guilty, needing to drink to feel better, missing work, sleeping all day, not sleeping at night. God please help me. Let me stop and not start again. It's only been 24 hours since I drank last. I hate this addiction and how it is ruining my life and others it is effecting.