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I Am An Alcoholic

Coming Out!

By: lagatta
Written on August 20th, 2012
Dear EP friends,

You are the 1st to know.  I am a closet, binge drinker.  I use alcohol to ease my emotional pain.  I tried stopping on my own but can't do it.  Whenever life seems too overwhelming I always resort back to alcohol.  I am going to a woman's recovery home for 3 months.  Ouch........  I'm so afraid.  Being surround by a group of women day in and day out is quite overwhelming for me.  But they have an excellent reputation and a good success rate!!!  And I really want to learn better coping skills.  I tried AA and doing it on my own but didn't succeed so I'm trying something different.  It seems drastic but that's what I feel need.

I am very closetet about my drinking.  I never get drunk in public!!!  I'm very ashamed!!! I am going to have to come out to friends and family about this issue and am scared of their judgement.  I come from a very religious and proper family!!  

Please wish me luck!

I go into recovery on September 4th.  

By: lagatta
Age: 36-40 , Female
266 people have read this story

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18 responses
  • RedRubies
    RedRubies

    Lagatta.... bless you for having the strength to tackle this demon and for sharing your journey. I have so much respect and admiration for you and I hope that you draw strength in return for what you reveal here :)

    Oct 30, 2012
    1 like
    • lagatta
      lagatta

      Thank you so much RedRubies! It's been a very difficult jouney for me. I've been a closeted driner for quite some time but I knew I would have to face my demons at some point. It was difficult comming out but I knew it was necessary. Once again thankyou for your support!

      Oct 30, 2012
      1 like
  • social02
    social02

    Oh. This is the true reason why you left. All this time I was happy that you were leaving because I thought you were going to go on a super long vacation and come back with some new and cool stories. I feel bad that I missed this.

    You have nothing to be ashamed of. No one is perfect and we all have our faults. In fact, you are better than most of the people that I have ever met. You are the sun of my EP friendship circle and my life here on EP.

    I know that you may not read this for awhile but I want you to know this: you are much braver than you realize. You have had to deal with a lot in your life yet you still manage to smile and remain happy. There are many people who have become bitter and jaded about life and its problems but not you. Your happiness is contagious and has often made me feel better when I was angry or feeling down about life.

    You can do this!

    You can win!

    I have a feeling that going to recovery is going to be a positive experience for you and that you will make a lot of friends there. I will say a prayer for you as well.

    You always have my love and support.

    Sep 17, 2012
    2 likes
    • lagatta
      lagatta

      Social, I just saw this now! OMG! Thank you for your kind words! I know that you were raised by an alcoholic mother and I was very concerned you would judge me. However, you have been kind and unjugemental. Thank you! I am doing well and trying to kill my demons but people's support is always helpfull. Thank you!

      Oct 30, 2012
      1 like
  • Behopefull
    Behopefull

    First of all, I want to give you a (((((Big Hug)))))) , and tell you that anything is possible if you want and think you need it bad enough.

    I wish and hope all the best for you, be open to what is offered to you there.

    And regarding to your family and friends, I pray that they will support you because that is so important when going through a recovery process.

    At the end you will find out who is worth keeping and who is to be let go.



    Hugs. ^_^

    Aug 24, 2012
    3 likes
    • lagatta
      lagatta

      Thanks Behopefull! I appreciate your support!

      Aug 24, 2012
      1 like
  • thatguy1970
    thatguy1970

    I think you are very brave. There are many people who would not admit to what you have and they will never get help. My best childhood friend was a heavy drinker and user later in life but conquered it with AA. Do what you think you need to in order to get better. I'm pulling for you. :)

    Aug 24, 2012
    2 likes
    • lagatta
      lagatta

      Thanks Guy! I tried AA and it didn't work for me. I'm not sure why. The program just didn't click for me or maybe I just wasn't ready at the time. It's so easy to fall into denial that's for sure. But I'm ready to face my demons! Thanks for your support. :)

      Aug 24, 2012
      1 like
  • cssndr73
    cssndr73

    I am a closet drinker too! I thought I was the only one. I dont get drunk in public because I always embarrass my self or blackout and do something mortifying. I want to quit to.

    Aug 24, 2012
    1 like
    • lagatta
      lagatta

      Yes, me too. I'm very conscious of my image. You are still young. Get sober now if you can! It's a waste of time and money!

      Aug 24, 2012
      1 like
  • Michelle0001
    Michelle0001

    You are taking huge steps to get help with this horrible problem. I know it is not an easy thing to confront, especially since your family is not aware. . Good luck with your recovery program and I wish you well :)

    Aug 21, 2012
    2 likes
  • mycuzinvinni
    mycuzinvinni

    you are not alone i have a problem when i start drinking i don,t want to stop i hope you can do it i am pulling for you to stop completly you can do it hugs vinny

    Aug 20, 2012
    2 likes
    • lagatta
      lagatta

      Thanks so much Vinny! I really appreciate your support! Addiction touches so many people's lives. Thank you for sharing with me!

      Aug 20, 2012
      1 like
    • mycuzinvinni
      mycuzinvinni

      your welcome let me share this to about 3 weeks ago i had to be rushed to the hospital my kidneys were starting to shut dow i was in icu for 2 days they thought i was not going to make it i did but if i drink at all it has to be no more than a couple or not at all.lol

      Aug 20, 2012
      1 like
    • lagatta
      lagatta

      oh wow. I'm sorry to hear that! I hope you are doing okay now. But thanks for sharing that because it could certainly happen to me if I don't stop drinking.

      Aug 20, 2012
      1 like
    • mycuzinvinni
      mycuzinvinni

      well as of now i am not drinking at all taking meds to help my kidneys heal

      Aug 21, 2012
      1 like
    • prettyinpink
      prettyinpink

      I used to drink my emotions away too....but we both know, that doesn't work...it's been 4 yrs since i had a drink...the greatest thing ever!!!!! you'll see :)

      Aug 25, 2012
      1 like
    • lagatta
      lagatta

      I'm looking forward to learning new life coping skills. Thanks for your support Pretty! :)

      Aug 25, 2012
      1 like
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