Just Another Bad Chapter.

I can't remember many details of my life when I was young, but I remember my first drink at 11 and first cigarette and first time trying marijuana and every other drug till finally meth. It was a burning fire that could only be quenched by substances and passions which always had a drug at its base. The music, the life, the party, the adam... till the end. It was after I discovered the problems I caused by mdma that I began drinking to get something normal feeling back... like love and desire and the passion. I was an empty shell and completely un able to any longer feel or love or have the place I had in my world! I created a bad feeling or vibe in the room for years! Not a good power to have!!! So I drank to stop it and numb the sharp pains and bring back my totally faded soul. I drank myself from an dwi in 1995 at 18 and two at 22 yrs old to another now!!! I can't figure it out at 36? The drugs all have flown except you alone; alcohol! I became intimate and passionate with many feelings false, but the spirits always come back to my pained stomach! I am on my way again towards recovery once more and hope by Gods good mercy can beat it this time!
bstoll bstoll
36-40, M
1 Response Sep 7, 2012

Hi bstoll, well done on finding your way to recovery again. Don't feel bad about being where you are at 36 - from where I am you're still pretty young. Good luck on your journey:)