An Alcoholic In Love With An Alcoholic

I am trying hard to stay sober... My boyfriend on the other hand is trying hard to be drunk all the time without ******* me off... Here I sit alone, in the dark, on my computer, wondering if he's going to come home tonight... He's done well in the past, better than me actually... but will this ever end??? I don't want my life to be like this... I love him & I don't know what to do... My friends tell me to move on, but it's not that easy!!! When he is sober he is the most wonderful man of my dreams!!! When he's drinking, he's gone without a care in the world, other than more alcohol... His friends don't want him to stop drinking... his family either! It's so frustrating watching him distroy himself and all the while I'm torn between joining him, leaving him or try to deal with it... I'm trying to deal with it now & here it is almost midnight & I have to be up in 6 hours & have a busy day tomorrow... also I'm a bit jelous that he gets to be the one with no responsibility!!!
searching4sobrity searching4sobrity
26-30, F
2 Responses Sep 13, 2012

Thank you all for your concern & for your advice!!! I just wanted to let you all know that I did relapse Monday the 24th of September. My boyfriend left me because I told him I wouldn't live like that anymore... So, I was sitting home alone & my ex kept texting me asking me if I wanted to drink, trying to talk me into it, & I repeatedly replied no then ignored him for an hour & my boyfriend started calling... he was very drunk & would say a few words then hang up, call back, say a few words, hang up & repeated it about 8 times, without letting me say a single word... So, I stopped answering the phone & text my ex to bring me something to drink... I drank 3 then recieved a phone call from my boyfriends mother. She informed me that he had triend to kill himself & was in the hospital... I was already drinking so I couldn't go see him through the night. So I drank 1 more, then went to bed feeling very guilty... I did go to the hospital first thing in the morning & he was moved to Mhu. He stayed there until yesterday, he came home... See my next story for more info... :)

First off, CONGRATULATIONS on your efforts at trying to stay sober. Strength be with you.
Please don't do this to yourself and get out of there. Go everywhere you can to get support and heed their advice. Listen to your friends, call them when you feel like reaching for a drink, call them when you're feeling alone.... just call them. I'm sure they'd be happy to help you out as much as they can if it's going to help you stay sober.
Don't focus on what he's doing, focus on yourself. No one can help him except him. No one can help you except YOU.
I had three alcoholics in my life, all at the same time, and I chose to go to AlAnon for a few sessions. It was the best thing I could ever have done for myself.
You could have a much better life waiting for you. Please, please try to grasp it now and start living healthy and happy.