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I Will Never Drink Again!!

Now that I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the very thought of picking up a drink is repulsive. Why would I pick up poison?  What did I see in it in the first place?  Oh sure, it gave me temporary relief from my constant barrage of negative feelings, but it also gave me horrible hangovers and caused other problems.  Every time I binge drank I was playing Russian Roulette with my life.  But I didn't care.  That was part of the fun.

It's interesting how I tried everything to stop - AA, rehab, counselling, etc. but nothing really seemed to work until I was diagnosed with Cancer.  I used to have no value for my life and now that I am staring death in the face all I want to do is live.  Now I will do everything and anything to increase my chances of survival. 

Yes, that right!  Cancer has given a me a new lease on life. It has given me a new perspective.  I have become courageous.  I have become a positive thinker. I have become emotionally strong. I face my problems head on now  rather than hiding behind bottle.   

The prognosis for this particular cancer is bad!  It's the most aggressive form of breast cancer and it's rare.  Stats for survival are poor. My oncologist didn't give me a personal prognosis, but I've read survival rates are anywhere between 22-50% within 5 years.  But somehow, I don't know why, deep inside me I know that I'll be part of the survival statistic. I know that sounds strange to be so confident and I'm not being cocky.  I know the reality.  But the new me always thinks positive.  I'd never be able to say that if I was still drinking!!!
lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 60 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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..Your words are truly inspiring and positive..live with the same spirit..wish and pray that you remain in good health..wishing a fully recovery.

Thank you! I appreciate your support!

People with your attitude have a tendency to live longer in those kind of adverse conditions, and sometimes life conditions are a great motivator

Thank You!! :)

You have a lion's heart, sister.

Aww...thank you! :)

I'm sending a good vibe to you, Lagatta.

She already has one.

I have my own issues with bingeing. I hate it.. I have reached a point where I just can't do it anymore. I'm tired... I will be brave and I will be STRONG!!!!!!

Your awesome!!!

Aww...thanks!

I wish you luck. I have not had a drink in 29 years - I quit when I married my 1st wife, and since then I find at least 1 or 2 reasons a day not to drink. The real reason I quit was simply because I didn't like the way alcohol made me feel. I think you will find you will learn to like yourself more sober. As Robin Williams once said, "Reality - what a concept!"

I've put a lot of stories about cancer on EP. Please EP-google my username with cancer.

I really suggest you plug in to lef.org. I hope you'll take out a membership and consult with them by phone. You have the challenge not only of keeping cancer from recurring, but overcoming the toxicity of your chemotherapy. I hate to say it, but chemotherapy is itself carcinogenic. Some chemo drugs were actually used as chemical weapons in the trenches of World War I. So you need to fortify yourself with optimal diet and dietary supplements. If you have any doctors who don't like you taking dietary supplements, that's a good sign to look for a new, more enlightened doctor.

I do heartily wish you the best.

I

Chemotherapy is not a good approach to curing cancer. It destroys your immune system, and it is your immune system that keeps cancer under control.

Cancer is caused by a weak and over burdened immune system. The burden is usually coming from Candida which lives in your GI tract. So the cure is simple: Get rid of the Candida and whatever else is growing in your GI tract, and support your immune system with vitamin and mineral supplements. What kills Candida? Raw garlic, probiotics, honey, and caprylic acid. What supplements do you need for your immune system? Vitamins A 25000 IU, B complex 50 mg, C 4000 mg, D 1000 IU, E, and zinc 50 mg. Take the raw garlic with plain yogurt. Otherwise it is very hot.

Get all the junk out of your diet: Sugar, white flour, artificial anything. Eat natural foods.

That much Vitamin A should be paired with a lot more than 1000 IU Vitamin D. She needs to get repeated blood testing to get herself in the optimal blood level for Vitamin D, which I believe is 50 to 80.

How have you been doing lately??

Sobriety wise I'm doing well! Chemo is also going well. Tumour has gone from 8cm to 1cm and my body is tolerating the chemo well so I haven't had many side effects other than hair loss and fatigue.

And how are you?

Am glad to hear that.... Not much left and soon recovery party on the way :)

Never stop fighting! And no regrets. We are here for you!

cancer is a *****

I will drink for you. Sorry to hear about your cancer. Thinking of you now.....sending you hope. :)

i am sad about your cancer but happy you are not drinking there are ways to get well look at every avenue sad thing there are cures the government has but will not release them to the ppl ******* government here is evil lol vinny

Hang in there girl, Life without drinking for me has been a real work out. I am 25 years sober and have had family members die and lost loves but, have not had the need to pick up a drink. Life is short and i try to life my life as if it were my last. Because we never know when that may be true. great job again.

Hey Lagatta, How are you doing now days?

I'm hanging in there! I have a long way to go! Drinking is no longer an issue for me!

lagatta I hope you are doing well, I send you my best wishes for a positive outcome.. I too have breast cancer but no where near as aggressive as yours.... I was lucky I caught it very early and need very little treatment... However my gp also tried to tell me it was nothing.. he sent me away saying it was fibrous tissue and to go back after a month and we will re-assess.. I went back and he still felt it was innocent but decided to refer me to "put my mind at rest" imagine my shock when faced with the news that i had a malignant breast lump..... I refer to myself as being lucky because my cancer is a very low grade and caught so early that hopefully it is contained in the lump only.. I have had the surgery to remove the lump and lymph node from under my arm and now have to wait for two weeks for the results...my possible treatment will be three weeks of radio therapy......

I wish you all the luck with your battle and just feel from your writing that you will hit this head on and fight it with all you have to give.... don't let the monster grind you down...

Once again good luck!!!!!

Thanks so much for your kind words! I'm sooooo happy they caught your cancer early. Breast cancer is one of the most treatable cancers if caught in time. Mine unfortunately wasn't but I'm remaining hopeful that I'll be a survivor.

I wish I could share your braveness to my brother-in-law who's suffering with cancer. He thinks he is already dying and been losing his that fighting spirit he once had.
You're such a brave woman. Thanks for posting this, yours is an inspiration.

I don't know what type of cancer your brother-in-law has, but I do know that no matter how bad the prognosis, there are always people who will beat the odds!! I know someone who has been in remission from Stage 4 cancer for 5 yrs! Now, if that doesn't give your brother-in-law and me hope, then nothing will!!

We all believe in you. We will all be here for you and together we will all fight the cancer with you. Sometimes life does take a wrong turn on us. But then we find the right path. Never give up. We love you.

I would like you to try, this little food suplement, call "TBL-12" am sure it will help you. You can go online and check the website at www.tbl12.com.

thanks for sharing your story. I am very positive that a lot learnt from it. :)

Thank you! One of the things that is getting me through this is my hope to inspire and help others!!!

Dear EP User,
I deeply sympathize with you.
From what I have read, I understand that you must have felt that you might not be able to live long. Why not live positively? Instead of drinking excessively, why not volunteer your time to do some meaningful works like visiting those more helpless people, doing some meaningful religious work. Through these sort of meaningful volunteer works, you might sometimes find that you are more fortunate than some people. You'll feel happier and stronger to face it. Please, bear in mind, no living being, in this world, including you and me, lives forever. God bless you.

Is this a generic post? lol But yes I agree that addicts and alcoholics benefit from doing volunteer work. It puts meaning in their life.

Lagatta, I am just popping in again to send more support and hugs. What lovely responses you have received... once thing I really like about EP is the fact that it is easy to connect with others who have been through something similar in many cases, and can offer tips and hope.

This sounds a bit silly, but I am really proud of you....you are LIVING!

Awww....thank you Rubies!!! I appreciate your support and checking in! :) I'm actually doing great.

It is really to bad that we have to have something bad happen to us in order to wake us up! You have an amazing out look and a very positive attitude which will increase your chances greatly. Don't go back and dwell on the what ifs or what statistics say, speak positively and only listen to the positive. Prayer also helps!!

Thank you! Yes, sometimes the stats scare me but I try to keep positive. My oncologist said not to get too caught up with the stats as personal prognosis is very individual.

My mother in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer and this was a long time ago and they told her she wouldn't make the year end. We told her she needed a positive attitude and believe that all things are possible and not to put all her trust in to what the doctors say because it is not the same for everyone and drs generalize alot of the time. Anyways she was able to live for 11 years and died from something else. And modern medicine has come along way since then!!!!

What encouraging news!!! I love hearing stories like that! Thank you for sharing! I will follow in your mother-in-law's step and be a survivor!

Hello fellow Alcoholic....my name is Lance from Calgary Alberta Canada, I am an alcolholic drug addict! I want to congratulate you on your remarkable courage! You are truley a great example of hoe A.A. and the Twelve Steps of Recovery can change lives! I am forty seven years of age going to take my first time ever in my life six months tag on Thursday....I am a Hep C surviver currently on Interferon Treatment......seven weeks left of forty eight weeks! My life has changed one hundred eighty degrees!! I am happy Peaceful and Serene!! I thrive on life and want to help others!!! I know my Personal Higher Power is helping me twenty-four-seven, and I am ever Greateful! I wish you all the best in your future....I will be praying for you sweet Lady! Kiss Kiss Hug Hug......BE HAPPY! Later.......
Luv Lance Stevens xxx ooo

I'm happy for your recovery! It's hard work but worth it!

thk 4 sharing

I'm so amazed how you feel... Its the greatest thing that you have that positive aspiration to battle against this ugly word ''Cancer''. God makes miracles and i know he will to you.. Keep doing what your doing and soon you will be cured.. Your an example for many ppl who are negative...

Thank you Addie!

Bless you,your body has the ability to heal itself,and your positive thinking has put you on the right track,go on you tube and start listening to Wayne Dyer,and Louise Hay,they are a must to listen to,both have had serious cancer and cured themselves,look up John of God a Brazilian doctor who is carrying out miracles on people who have had no hope.
You are a powerful creator of your own experience,tell yourself everyday I AM WELL,keep the affirmation going,also watch Bruce Lipton,you can do it girl,and I am sending healing energy your way! x

Your letter moved me to tears you sound like a fighter so stay strong and don't give up remember where their's life their's hope. Have you tried Essiac tea? you buy it in powder form it's made from the burdock root, Indian rhubarb, sheep sorrel and slippery elm bark, add water as instructions bring to the boil and leave overnight strain and drink, we put it in a large pop bottle in the fridge. My son was given a few packets by a friend after he got cancer (Hodgkinsons Lymphoma) and he drunk the tea for a good two weeks before his chemo and he said it made him feel good. Three years later after radiation therapy they told him the cancer was gone, he has now been clear for 7 years and I pray he will continue to be so. I am autoimmune and also drink the tea when I go through a bad patch it helps a lot my sister also takes it. I wish you luck.

Thank you! I will try the tea. I wish you and your family all the best!!

Greetings Lagatta.
Ironically just got a few stories in my mail & picked yours and Wow how it hits home. Except I'm the NOW Ex-girlfriend of an Alcoholic who acts invinsible. He's got every/all tools at his fingers but Nothing works...I finally threw in the towel for my own safety. He's on a path where he simply enjoys living this alcoholic life & no matter all the wonderful things he has, he choses drinking/druging. I decided to exit the roller coaster, but we still reside together. I'm even ready to part ways with him completely. I told him, he's on a reckless path (drinking & driving, druging, etc) and tells him he's no true value for life. He's an amazing man to be cloned, except for this demon he continues to let rule him. What advice would you have for me at this point, I'm open to hearing anything you have to offer.

For starters do what you can to prevent him from driving drunk (taking keys away) or alert authorities if he's on the road. Secondly evaluate your own role if any in contributing to his choice by staying and how much it affects or hinders your own life. You have made it clear to him that his behavior is self distructive and on some level he no doubt knows it. Yet he continues on this path. If he refuses to seek help at your encouragement then it may be time to cut the ties so you can live your life knowing that you loved him and did the best you could for him

Clouds2Sunshine, This is a difficult one! It is impossible to convince an alcoholic/addict to stop. They must want it for themselves. For me, it was just that I decided to choose life. I didn't want add the additional risk of alcohol to the mix of cancer, chemo, radiation and surgery. I wanted to give myself the best living chance. But previous to that, although intellectually I knew I was playing Russian Roulette it didn't feel that way because like your boyfriend I seemed to be getting away with it. The ONLY thing you can do is live your life. You may have to leave him. He will need to hit his own bottom before he realizes he wants a change. I am sorry I couldn't be of more help! I really wish there was an easy answer and I could take away your pain!!

well as a ex drinker, I think it is worderfully inspiring that you have all those positive attributes and gives hope to people who don't think change is possible. You did it and maybe others can do it with out having to get some dred disease.

Yes, hopefully my story can inspire others to change their life and attitude too!