It Is What It Is.

I have the usual in my story: child of ******, physically and emotionally abused, dealing drugs, homelessness, drinking at a young age, hopeless, loneliness, and just couldn't stop.

I'm 22. It's unfortunate that I'm already an alcoholic.  Actually- I hate it. But I live with it, just as I live with the fact that I'm Mexican and that I'm a girl, all things I can't change- not that I'd want to, but it's all just a matter of fact. Life never asked me what I wanted, and I never really got it anyway. Well until recently, until becoming sober and accepting it all.

My birthday was yesterday, and when my boyfriend asked what I wanted for my birthday I said "to not be an alcoholic" - and I meant it. I wanted to celebrate it like I did my 21st.

But with six months and some change in the bucket, realized that I spent it with way more fun and a sense of fulfillment that I ever have in my short little life. I wasn't feeling like **** the next day, I didn't feel guilty or lonely, and I was able to show up for life and go to work and be responsible. I guess all really simple things to do, but not for me - which makes me appreciate it so much more.

I have a lot of crap in the past I still don't want to deal with and don't really know how to deal with but as least it's not torturing me into oblivion.

My name is Ariana and I'm an alcoholic.

msbogart msbogart
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 25, 2009

thank you, me too.<br />
:)

You been through alot. I hope you have more brighter days ahead.<br />
Thanks for sharing.