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I Am An Alcoholic

I Need More Meetings

By: darlene
Written on October 4th, 2007

I forced myself to go to a meeting tonight because I really didn't want to go.  I knew I needed it.  I've felt pretty sh*tty all day.  I went to the meeting and told everyone I was feeling sh*tty.  I got a lot of support & empathy & talked to people who felt like sh*t , too.

I don't know...I've been having alot of ups & downs lately, I've been so busy with school & work I'm neglecting things.  I'm not seeing my grandmother like I should, I'm not getting things done around the house, I'm not getting to meetings like I shoud, or keeping in touch with my sponser.  I'm exhausted, getting on the verge of a major depressive episode, feeling guilty, I could go on & on but I won't.

I just want things to be on an even keel.  I don't need extreme happiness (if that even exists). 

By: darlene
Age: 41-45 , Female
808 people have read this story

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2 responses
  • darlene
    darlene

    well, at this point in my life I feel like a hypocrit. I take prescribed meds and I know a lot of die-hard recovering addicts would look down on that. Sometimes, I wonder what's the point. Even though people tell me I need to go, I don't seem to understand why.

    Aug 15, 2011
    1 like
  • Jheni
    Jheni

    I could have written this, every day I plan to go to a meeting, but then I will find an excuse. Or just out right not go. I feel a pattern in this, and yes it definitely does go hand and hand with the depression. Thank you for your story. It inspires me to actually attend meetings when I don't want to.

    Aug 8, 2011
    2 likes