I'm An Alcoholic And I Dont Know How To Stop

this has got to be the most hardest thing i'll ever have to type because for the last year, my life has taken a downward spiral into self pity and depression which if every bit my own fault. i'm 28 years old and i work in a little salon close to where i live. i hate my life because i drink so much and its effecting my job and even a relationship with my family, i was sexually abused when i was 12 years old by my best friends dad. i never knew quite how to deal with this because although i told my parents, i still had the guilt of hurting my friend. i dont know if this is the reason for my drinking so heavily but i've lost every bit of confidence inside me. i'm hiding alcohol and i've recently started to drink in the mornings too. at this moment in time, i have 3 plastic bags full of empty cans that i have drank over the past week. i also drank this morning. i dont understand why i'm like this. i need help but i need someone to understand me because i don't understand myself.  thank you for reading this

sammy1981 sammy1981
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 15, 2010

My roomate woke me up this morning. I had passed out on the steps outside our apartment. That was embarasing. In my case, I drink because im not ok with myself. I hate my life and i hate people that try to be nice to me or help me. I think I am going to continue to drink until I accept myself for who I am and am ok with myself.