Lifestyle

At 4 yrs old I started to drink.  Family would hand me drinks to bring to friends and family.  I would drink some of it in transit.  Everyone would laugh at me when they saw I was drunk.  Throughout life I would sip from the bottles in the liquor cabinet.  In teen years, friends would serve me drinks and we would live it up!  18 is leagal and bar hoppin was the norm.  We would start with a case of beer in the car before heading out.  It just has always been there like a toothbrush..part of your life.  Now I binge drink and blackout.  I drink wine (2 bottles) 2x a week.  I use wine b/c it gives me a headache the next morning to try to deter me from my heinous habit.  I am  reg at some bars.  I barhop to try to hide my ectreme indulgence...but I think they know.  I like to socialize so I tend to go out when I drink.  I like that men buy me drinks.  It is an ego boost.  When I am smashed, I am stupid.  I read palms and do other hooey.  Embarrassing.  When stressed I want to drink like others want a cig.  I am 44 year old female and am a binge drinking alky.

typoquene typoquene
41-45, F
9 Responses Feb 16, 2010

i hear ya...2nite i have had wine and yagermeister. never had it b4 and the ceiling spun b4 me. wow! b4 it though saw my ex and did not even sad he was my ex. he is my age and looked so old to me. i was like I was with him??? but was nice. then met with fwb who is 11 yrs younger and had the alcohol. was a nice time :) then hit the restaurant and oder a couple nice meals and had some vino while awaiting. this one friggin omg sooooooooooo hot guy was there and hitting on me ...he was married but holy crap i mean HOT!!! he looked like the guy from twilight that always get interviewed on tv. i was already drinkin but wow. his friend was nice looking but damn this guy was jaw dropping! nothing happened of course...i told them i has been drinkin so naturally i acted like an *** towards the end. guessed the not soo nice looking guys personal life and was straight on...freaked them out and they left.not psychic or else i would tell the numbers to play for lotto! just a good guesser when blotto lol. he was a looker . hey was a good day and a good night

I used to be an avid camper, hiker and backpacker....years in Utah helped me develop that love. Now I live in Chi-town and only leave the house for work, thrift-store shopping and to get my booze. <br />
<br />
Well..I am THREE beers into this night and I have not even started the movie yet, (This IS IT..the Michale Jackson movie.....). My husband is gone.....I don't work ALL week next week...and I keep thinking....hmmmm....will I drink that entire week? Put myself into the psych ward (claim I am "suicidal"..after all...isn't drinking when you feel like $hit being "suicidal?") AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.....maybe had I actually DONE that a few times in my life...scream and not stop for a few friggin days...maybe I would be healthier today?

wow...that is deep/ i am a bottle of vino down a couple shots of smethig calle dya grrr myster into rhings. i have had some hotties go after me but i said no.... hily grow one way hotter hen the guy on house omg... but i said no. had maried and single buy for e... took all my stress away.....outside of drinkin the only thing i love is nature and hikin and campig.. makes no sense... but i love family grillin and amping...never will have it again never never ah ell men are many and so are cheap drink

typoquene...the straight jacket is being used...BY ME!!!! I SO understand your plight. I am drinking right now, in fact. I drank 6 beers last night....the first time I have since rehab last February. I just felt SO much like $hiiite that I really didn't know what to do.....I forgot what a hangover felt like...and I see PATIENTS in a clinic for hecks sake!!!! I was red, sweating, shaking and felt like manure. My husband, (who normally stops me from drinking on weekends because I don;t want to disappoint him....is gone to DC for a protest against the wars....and so here I am...weeeeeee...drinking despite the fact I felt so terrible all day...and the stickler? I am feeling better after this 2nd beer. <br />
I used to be a fighter....now all I do is fight myself....<br />
I smoked pot every day for almost 10 years....(with some times off to heal the coughing lungs...) and after 3 days of being irritable...i can stop smoking and not worry, (my husband then worries because I start to hurt and get insomnia again when stop smoking and he'll buy some for me...he hates it when I take sleeping pills.....) so...why can't I stop drinking? I used to HATE beer......I NEVER drank.....from age 19 until age 23...NEVER...then it was social.....then, by age 32, I was drinking almost daily.....but only one or at most two...I hardly got drunk...then it became 8 a day in 2008 when my brother died, (from alcohol, by the way)....sigh...how many times can one say...HELP ME?<br />
<br />
peace

typoquene...the straight jacket is being used...BY ME!!!! I SO understand your plight. I am drinking right now, in fact. I drank 6 beers last night....the first time I have since rehab last February. I just felt SO much like $hiiite that I really didn't know what to do.....I forgot what a hangover felt like...and I see PATIENTS in a clinic for hecks sake!!!! I was red, sweating, shaking and felt like manure. My husband, (who normally stops me from drinking on weekends because I don;t want to disappoint him....is gone to DC for a protest against the wars....and so here I am...weeeeeee...drinking despite the fact I felt so terrible all day...and the stickler? I am feeling better after this 2nd beer. <br />
I used to be a fighter....now all I do is fight myself....<br />
I smoked pot every day for almost 10 years....(with some times off to heal the coughing lungs...) and after 3 days of being irritable...i can stop smoking and not worry, (my husband then worries because I start to hurt and get insomnia again when stop smoking and he'll buy some for me...he hates it when I take sleeping pills.....) so...why can't I stop drinking? I used to HATE beer......I NEVER drank.....from age 19 until age 23...NEVER...then it was social.....then, by age 32, I was drinking almost daily.....but only one or at most two...I hardly got drunk...then it became 8 a day in 2008 when my brother died, (from alcohol, by the way)....sigh...how many times can one say...HELP ME?<br />
<br />
peace

Thanks, honestly don't know if i will ever stop. I like the way it numbs me and puts me in a good mood most times. Maybe one day I will outgrow it...dunno if a person can outgrow an addiction hmmm. Just got down with an emotional scene and it is half past noon about to crack a bottle then saw these two posts. Dang...gives a person pause. Maybe I need to grow up and put the bottle back away. Part of me says like jeckyl and hyde...another day grow another day. I am psycho! Where is the straight jacket???

I was in my forties when it became too much to continue. My life, as they say, had become unmanageable. I was never one to consider AA, it was a running joke. That is, until I realized my life was a joke because of my drinking. The stark fact was I couldn't handle it anymore. I went to a rehab and started to realize how bad it really was. I say started to, because it took many relapses before I finally quit. Like you say, booze has just always been there, in fact, I had no skills in meeting people for relationships, that always happened when we were drunk. <br />
As I looked back, it became obvious that alcohol had been messing me up for quite some time, years , and years. It has almost killed me on more than one occasion. <br />
I am a grateful alcoholic, and meeting with others like me saved my life. Don't worry about the religious slant to AA, I thought I would have a problem with it, and some do thump the Bible. Not me, and neither do the majority of people in the program. Try something new, as they say, if what you're doing just isn't working. I'll say one of my special non-religous prayers for you.

Thank you. Your depth and words mean a lot.

i really feel ya. im 18 and i have loads of alcholics in my family. first off i want to say that you CAN change this.. despite all factors saying otherwise.. u can do it. i believe in you.<br />
I read this story and i litterally cried for you, i dont know you but u are a human, and u deserve to love yourself enough to have an occasional drink. <br />
<br />
but not induce blackouts and other harmful things. <br />
i believe in you, and care about u, hard to believe but its coming from a truthful person, and believe me <br />
2 bottles twice a week is alot less then the people i know who drink a gallon of vodka a day, and have to be hospitalized for their bodily injuries.<br />
<br />
i wish u the best of luck and god is with you