I Need Help Understanding.

I am so confused. My very first memory was a short image of complete darkness with a very small patch of what I can only explain as meat in the middle and very close to my face. Then my second memory is of watching myself from outside my body when I was probably around 3/4 years old then with a little pain and struggle I suddenly became this child I was observing. I have for as long as I have known had three white dots on my left hand that form a perfect triangle in between my index finger and thumb. I feel a strong connection with the stars to the point where I get emotional. And also I feel like my body isn't my body. But a vessel in which I am biologically attached too. This is very true and I am really embarrassed in telling anyone this because I can see how crazy this sounds. Please please help me. I am so confused. I feel lost!!!!!!!
andywestmids andywestmids
36-40, M
2 Responses Sep 13, 2012

This does not sound crazy at all. Do you feel you belong here? Or somewhere else?

I believe I belong here, I just believe I am spiritually from somewhere else. Strange as it may sound I really strongly believe that there is something more for us, this life is not just it. I can not concede to the idea that this is what we do just live and die then that's the end. There is surely something more for us. Why do we only use a minuscule amount of our brains capacity? Is this the reason we are all brainwashed into believing the teachings of others because we struggle to work stuff out for ourselves due to this cap on brain power? And why do we have to have reasonable excuses for some magical moments or phenomena that we come across? I have so many thoughts and questions.

This may not seem like it, but believe what you're going through is circumstantial. The mark may just be birth marks, and with seven billion people alive, it doesn't surprise me that one person may have birth marks in a seemingly purposeful order. I believe you first memory, is, ironically, a dream. The darkness because you have yet to have an intelligent mind at a small age, so you cannot register much of the world around you and thus cannot transfer it into your dreams. The meat...well...your source of milk, let's say. The stars...those I can't explain. Maybe you just like stars in the same respect I like reading. As for the body, you may have a strain of a disease like phantom limb syndrome. This is where you have a feeling that something (e.g. an arm) is there when it isn't. This may have a related disease that warped into something that makes you feel as if you shouldn't be there (i.e. your body). Helps, I hope.