Bka Left For Almost A Year

I had osteomylitis of my left foot bones. They tried for two years, ten operations, three IV medication infusions to get rid of it. I was on crutches for two years and because of the infection, I constantly ran fevers. I was very sick most of the time. I'm not a diabetic so they did not know how I contracted the osteomylitis so I was a question mark. I said to my mother in June of 2010 that I thought I was going to lose my leg and I was right they told me two months later in August that they could do no more for me. My surgery took place on October 6, 2010. They removed my ankle and left foot so I have a pretty long limb. I remember thinking in the hospital "how am I going to do this?"  By the end of November, I had my temporary prosthesis and entered physical therapy. For about a month, I walked with a walker, then I said to my therapist, "Give me a cane, I can do it". She gave me a cane and I walked with that for about a month. Then one day she just let me go and I walked on my own. I'm 44 years old and was pretty active before my foot got bad. I did yoga, swimming and walking to keep in shape. It has been almost a year now. I still have some phantom pain. I have gone back to excercising, the yoga is a little hard but I try. No one usually know I am an amputee unless I tell them because I walk very well. I do wear long pants to hide the prosthesis as I am not yet comfortable showing the world. Every one says I will eventually get over that. I go to an amputee support group once a month and they are very helpful. For the longest time I felt like some kind of freak thinking who would want someone like me? I don't feel like that anymore. I am who I am. I'm young, people say I'm attractive and full of life. I'm getting ready to go back to school in January for cosmotology., I know I can do it! I'm not intimidated anymore. This is who I am. I have people who love me for who I am and people who meet me are amazed that I'm that strong. I don't have a man in my life as of yet, I'm hoping to meet someone someday who won't care about my leg. I know there is someone out there for me. When I was healing, I would listen to a certain song over and over. It's called Stop Crying Your Heart Out and the chorus is this, "All of the stars have faded away, try not to worry you'll see them someday. Take what you need and be on your way and stop crying your heart out". In other words things seem dismal now, but learn from your experience and get up and do something about it. I listen to that song every time I feel down hearted and it boosts me right back up.
deniselynne deniselynne
41-45, F
Sep 19, 2011