Kidneys For Amputees

My flying club is signed up to a volunteer medical emergency programme should the need ever arise, which had never happened. I was in the club with my safety pilot and we had ordered breakfast. My A/C stood outside on the apron ready to go. Then a call really did come through. A kidney had to be delivered to an airport 150 miles away very quickly. We were the clear candidates for the job. We piled into the A/C and started to programme the GPS. There was not even time to put my wheelchair in the back. The police arrived doing a passable imitation of Starski and Hutch, the kidney was placed on the back seat and we were off. We were cleared for a direct flight and even allowed to cut some corners on the way. Throttle was at 100% so we were really motoring and made a direct approach to land. The kidney was snatched from us. My P2 rushed into the terminal for a pee but I was stuck in the A/C. We returned home and by then I was getting a little 'urgent'.
Someone from the airfield had alerted the local BBC Radio and we were ambushed as I was being 'offloaded from the A/C. Despite my protestations and my little 'urgency' a mike was thrust in my face.

BBC "So you have delivered a life saving kidney"
Me "yup, I suppose"
BBC " you are quite a special pilot, aren't you"
Me " I come from Moscow"
BBC "Yes but you have lost your legs"
Me "I have not lost my legs. I know exactly where they are. They were sawed off in hospital and no doubt incinerated"
BBC "Were you anxious flying with the responsibility"
Me "We did leave before breakfast but we were not anxious. If we had become hungry, there was always the kidney in the back"

The Beeb left empty handed and serves them right! It never was transmitted of course.
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Jan 8, 2013