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I'm Just About Done

As a soldier most of my life I have the typical macho attitude. After leaving the service 6 yrs ago I was riding home on my Harley on 4-1-10 when I was hit by an 18 yr old drunk and stoned driver. here's the link to the tv news story and how screwed up Georgia law is for hitting a biker: http://www.11alive.com/news/article/236345/40/Too-high-to-drive . I'm know on my 4th prosthetic leg, all have been to painful, I spend 90% of my time in bed in extreme pain. I haven't slept with a woman since the accident cause I'm sure she'll just see me as a cripple and I don't want pity. I have no support system, vehicle anymore (sold bike for last leg) and social security gives me a whole $710 a month to live on. The only reason I'm still here is I have a 23 year old son I raised myself and couldn't leave him to wonder the rest of his life "what could I have done". We don't talk as much as we used to and he's moved out and going to school and has lots of friends and girlfriends, so not much time for me. He just told me he's moving to Virginia to live with a girl and go to school there so now I'll have no one. Death does not scare me, I almost welcome it. 3 1/2 years of constant pain and hopelessness has worn me down. Looking for just one reason, one glimmer of hope before I dishonor myself and all I've stood for. PGR rider 13bangbangGa, and Warrior Watch Rider J.R.
SGTJR18FOXTROT SGTJR18FOXTROT 46-50, M 3 Responses Sep 11, 2013

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Are you Kram?

I am not Kram but a good friend of his and fellow artist.

hi
I'm trying to write a novel, and the main character is an amputee. I need some folks with a wide variety of experiences to enrich my characters. I know everyone is different, but my mom is disabled and I know that encouraging other people helps her keep going. I figured since the end goal of the book is to help people see the light at the end of the tunnel, maybe being a part of it would help you? Maybe a win-win? email me or find me on facebook if you're interested :)

If I can help I'm more than willing. My email is itattoou30144@yahoo.com and any other info is listed on my website Kramsbikerart.com under the contact us tab. Very best of luck@@

Is there any clue why you're in so much pain? Phantom pain? Problems with the residual? Do any doctors have any idea??

Bone spurs, a nuroma?spelling?, and muscle loss plus the bone comes all the way to the end of the stump plus I can't straighten leg at knee because of scar tissue and have a 22 degree contraction where every time I try to take a step the pain on the stump and hamstring is beyond agony. Thanks for taking the time to ask. Johnjrmclean@gmail.com

You're welcome. It seems like there's such a wide range in results that people get. Some pretty good, some pretty bad. I wish there was some way some of that could be fixed.

I will try your email.