I Am An Anesthesia Awareness Survivor
It all started in 1998 when i found out i was pregnant with my daughter. The 1st few months were as to be expected with morning sickness and fatigue, but by the time i reached my 5th month things went terribly wrong. I started having pain in my back which is not uncommon, but the pain started to radiate down my legs and would cause major pain and weakness. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it wasnt normal but because i was pregnant couldnt have an MRI or take anything for the pain. By the time i delivered her Jan 12, 1999 i could barely walk. After waiting 6weeks i went to my PCP and he ordered the test i needed which of course showed #3 ruptured disc in my back and spinal stenosis. He refferd me to an Orthopedic Surgeon. After my 1st appt with him he said surgery was inevitable.
On april 28th,1999 i was wheeled into an OR a nieve teenager but exited an old soul. I remember counting back from 10 and hitting about 7 and blissfully falling asleep. I was on my back of course. When i awoke the 1st thing i remember was noticing i was on my stomach staring at the floor with a blue drape covering my head and arms. I could hear the surgery team laughing and talking, the heart moniter beeping,the tube in my throat,and the smell of my burning muscles. The pain hit all at once. It was a combonation of seering,burning,ripping,tugging and chipping all at one time. I tried to scream..nothing. I tried to move...nothing. All i could do is lay there motionless enduring a hell noone can imagine, and should never have too. My thoughts went to my baby who was barely 3months old and i prayed "god please help me i cant leave her, but i cant take this".
Through my words with god i heard my heart rate get faster and faster, and then finnally hearing the dr.say "whoa what the hell is happening!" I layed there motionless unable to even twitch and i saw my anesthiologist peek under the sheet, and like a blessing from god we locked eyes. His exact reply was "o sh*t shes awake!" then i was sumerged in pure white. It engulfed me. There was no more pain. I was still very much aware but not the same kind of awareness. I realized i wasnt on that operating table anymore, i was going home. Now to be honest i was not religious in any way before this happened to me. I had no clue what to expect when we die nor at 18yrs old had i given it much thought, but there i was. blissfully content. Feeling better than i had in well...ever. Then just as quickly had i arrived, perfectly satisfied never to go back, it felt like a rubberband was wrapped around my waste and i was snapped back.
This time i awoke in the recovery room with drs. and nurses looking at me. Finally able to speak i screamed "I was awake!!!!!" The dr. said "what do you remember?" well i recalled every word he said to the staff during the operation to the last detail and he simply replied "we are sorry you had to experience that". Great bedside manner huh? i was sent to a room where i told my parents what happened. To my surprise this very sweet nurse came in who had actually been with me in the OR. She said "ma'am im so sorry for what has happened to you, you went into shock and were clinically dead for 3min 27sec" we had to shock your heart but got you back" I was dumbfounded. Here this nurse was telling me what my dr. wouldnt. Well a year later i found out the sugery hadnt been completed. i had to have two more surgeries 8pins,2rods placed in my last one. i also have had to have an hyterectomy.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD and suffer from anxiety attacks. This trauma has stolen alot from me. Things i may never get over. i tell my story to anyone who willlisten because the more people are aware it can happen the less it will happen. Ive been to hell,felt the pain, and ill do anything to help people from going there. Ask for the brain monitor that measures your brainwaves, also before surgery check your drs. creditials, ALL of your drs. This is your life and your body dont just automatically assume drs. can be trusted. If you do you just might wind up like me.. God Bless and Be Safe
On april 28th,1999 i was wheeled into an OR a nieve teenager but exited an old soul. I remember counting back from 10 and hitting about 7 and blissfully falling asleep. I was on my back of course. When i awoke the 1st thing i remember was noticing i was on my stomach staring at the floor with a blue drape covering my head and arms. I could hear the surgery team laughing and talking, the heart moniter beeping,the tube in my throat,and the smell of my burning muscles. The pain hit all at once. It was a combonation of seering,burning,ripping,tugging and chipping all at one time. I tried to scream..nothing. I tried to move...nothing. All i could do is lay there motionless enduring a hell noone can imagine, and should never have too. My thoughts went to my baby who was barely 3months old and i prayed "god please help me i cant leave her, but i cant take this".
Through my words with god i heard my heart rate get faster and faster, and then finnally hearing the dr.say "whoa what the hell is happening!" I layed there motionless unable to even twitch and i saw my anesthiologist peek under the sheet, and like a blessing from god we locked eyes. His exact reply was "o sh*t shes awake!" then i was sumerged in pure white. It engulfed me. There was no more pain. I was still very much aware but not the same kind of awareness. I realized i wasnt on that operating table anymore, i was going home. Now to be honest i was not religious in any way before this happened to me. I had no clue what to expect when we die nor at 18yrs old had i given it much thought, but there i was. blissfully content. Feeling better than i had in well...ever. Then just as quickly had i arrived, perfectly satisfied never to go back, it felt like a rubberband was wrapped around my waste and i was snapped back.
This time i awoke in the recovery room with drs. and nurses looking at me. Finally able to speak i screamed "I was awake!!!!!" The dr. said "what do you remember?" well i recalled every word he said to the staff during the operation to the last detail and he simply replied "we are sorry you had to experience that". Great bedside manner huh? i was sent to a room where i told my parents what happened. To my surprise this very sweet nurse came in who had actually been with me in the OR. She said "ma'am im so sorry for what has happened to you, you went into shock and were clinically dead for 3min 27sec" we had to shock your heart but got you back" I was dumbfounded. Here this nurse was telling me what my dr. wouldnt. Well a year later i found out the sugery hadnt been completed. i had to have two more surgeries 8pins,2rods placed in my last one. i also have had to have an hyterectomy.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD and suffer from anxiety attacks. This trauma has stolen alot from me. Things i may never get over. i tell my story to anyone who willlisten because the more people are aware it can happen the less it will happen. Ive been to hell,felt the pain, and ill do anything to help people from going there. Ask for the brain monitor that measures your brainwaves, also before surgery check your drs. creditials, ALL of your drs. This is your life and your body dont just automatically assume drs. can be trusted. If you do you just might wind up like me.. God Bless and Be Safe
By:
helpless18
Age:
31-35
