Can'T Seem To Stop..

I've been battling anorexia, eating disorders(binge eating and bulima too) since I was very young. Eating habbits have been bad since I was about 5 or 6. I've had ups and downs, from being fat to skinny..and fat agan to curvy to once again, skinny. The lowest i've ever been. 63 pounds..yes! I did an awesome job of maintaining that weight. I was hospitalized at 90 but that just made me crazy so I came out and lost another 25 lbs. However latley, I can't seem to stop eating. I won't eat all day on purpose, [I also have a bit of a drinking problem latley..] Go out, have drnks..whch causes me to binge.. on chips,crackers,cheese,ranch sauce.. penut butter, bread. Recently have gained weight..probably close to 10lbs. I am not under any plan to "recover" but to STOP binging and get that clean, innocent body back. RIght now I have a beer belly with visable fat and my ribs aren't showing as much. There are bags of chips,crackers hidden in my closet. This is disgusting. I want to go back to being 60 pounds which i AM going to do. I take vitamins everyday to help balance my electrolyghts. It is possible to live with anorexia. Just needed to get this unhealthy new binging habit off my chest. Time to purge it all out and start my clense!
emmibee emmibee
22-25, F
Mar 16, 2013