6 Little Words...

Something nice happened last night. Let's start from the beginning...
My boyfriend has been in the Army since July and, I'm sure you all understand, it is really tough. I have felt incredibly alone since he left. Not because he has not been here with me, but because I have no one who understands what it's like being in a military relationship and, frankly, no one who seems interested in even TRYING to understand. Ever since I told my friends that my boyfriend and I would not be breaking up when he left for BCT, I have felt no support from them or understanding. In all honesty, I have felt like they almost look at us like we're a joke and that their relationships are more "real" than mine and my soldier's relationship. Probably because we were only together for less than 5 months when he left. However, I have never talked to them about it.
I think Army girlfriends all tend to have one common trait; we can deal with an extreme amount of pain, stress, anxiety, and sadness without missing a beat and without anyone noticing something is wrong. We don't tell everyone how we feel because this was a decision we made and most people simply don't understand. My friends hardly ever ask about me and my soldier and never about how I'm doing with him being gone. And it was alright, but not preferred.
So, last night, my friend and I were driving to Starbucks and I was talking about how I am so excited about flying out to see my soldier in a few weeks at his base. I've been having a really rough time lately, I think because our 1st anniversary is coming up and we won't be together for it. I said "I can't believe I haven't seen him in almost 3 months". And she shook her head. I looked at her, thinking she was shaking it in a way that was saying "you guys are rediculous". But instead she looked at me and said "you are a VERY strong person for being able to do this. I would never be able to do it myself. You are very strong". And I surprised myself. I started crying. And I said "thank you".
I didn't realize until that moment how much I needed to hear that. Not just from my soldier, who tells me that all the time, but from someone on the outside looking in. Finally, someone TRIED to understand and had atleast a second of clarity of what someone in a military relationship goes through. Who would've thought that 6 little words, "you are a very strong person", could mean so much? I instantly felt rejuvenated and ready to keep going.
July2015 July2015
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 26, 2013

I love this!
I definitely understand how you feel on the friends aspect of everything.
My friends aren't thrilled about me and my boyfriend even being together, much less that I am here for him through his dicission to be in the Army.
One of my friends always says that our relationship isn't real because he's been gone for most of it. But I think that just makes us stronger because even though we are seperated because of this, we are still together and 100% committed to each other.
It really sucks because another of my friends, her boyfriend is in the National Guard "Weekend Warrior". I have always been supportive of their relationship and of their relationship even though I didn't like him at first.
It only bothers me now that he thinks he is better than my boyfriend, while my boyfriend is actually gone and doing something while her boyfriend gets to stay home and do whatever he wants and spend time with her. They only went through his AIT together and that was about 2 1/2 months I believe.
I've listened to nothing about how he is better while keeping my mouth shut because I don't think either of them is better. They do different things. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings because I know how much it sucks.

I'd love to hear those words from my friends and have them truly mean it.
But if not, I will still be okay.

That must be SO frustrating! :/ I hope your friends come around!!!

The constant bashing of him has gotten better. They don't say as much rude or hurtful things anymore, but it's still not totally okay to talk about him to them.
He's home right now for 2 weeks, hometown Recruiting. So he can be home and not waste his Leave.
I tried getting someone to work for me Wednesday evening because 1. My shift started while I was in class. 2. Evenings are the only time I get to see him.
I asked 4 people, they all said no.
I was happy about having to work, but I was going to until I got told I didn't have to come in.
Turns out my weekend manager came in for me.
And Friday she was completely rude and cold-shouldered to me.
Turns out, she thought I lied to get out of work with the school thing.
I was so hurt and mad when I found out. I was about ready to cry.
Luckily, I only worked 2 hours with her.
It sucks that no one understands I don't have the luxury to just blow off a day to not see him. If hes here, I want to take every opportunity I can see him. Not to say I wouldn't work. Wednesdays aren't my normal days anyway. If he hadn't been home, id of worked it.
it sucks that people don't understand how difficult military relationships are.