i'm holding onto the last kiss, the last big bear hug he gave me, you know, the one where he picks you up off the ground and swings you around. i'm holding on those last words he said before he turned around and walked away. i held onto my tears the whole time, as to not make it harder for him to see me cry, but i might as well have let him seen them, not even a millisecond after he turned, i felt the tears start dropping. i felt this power come over my body, one willing me to force him back into my arms, but then also willing me to be strong. and with him, the chemistry we have is beyond perfect. the first time i ever saw him, i felt it, HE felt it, i' pretty sure everyone in the room could feel it. its been one week since he left, and now i'm left with 12 months to go, with the exception of R&R. Some say "no news is good news." and i'm trying to believe it in a way but i've never been in this position before. This is his first deployment. The first time I've really felt the feeling of missing somebody. I don't even have his exact address yet, but I'm already writing letters. So I don't know how many calls to expect, how fast his letters will get here once they start, or anything. My girls don't understand how i'm feeling, because their men are right here with them, and its hard, harder than I thought it would be. I remember him telling me, right before he walked away "this isn't my job, this is MY l i f e" and he said it with so much pride, he was so ready to go and protect his homeland, and that made me all the more proud to be by his side. to be his girlfriend :)
i hate missing him, but i love having someone to miss.