My Final Paper For One Of My Classes Bout Us The Army Gf/fiances And Wives. Tell Me What You Think If I Should Add Anything.

We have no rank... Most of the time we go unnoticed. Our phones and email become a permenent 5th and 6th limb. We're scared but well never admit it to the outside world. You probably walk pass us and dont even realize it. You have probably seen us with our bloodshot eyes.. from not sleeping.. or from crying.. or from a late night or early morning phone call that lasted a whole 2 minutes and 15 seconds...with a quick "baby im okay , i love you so much". That we then lay in bed thinking about for the next 2 hours... And yet you as civilians .. the outside world, have no idea who we are.... we are the women that our men left behind.. we are army girlfriends, fiances, and wives...


Our relationships are anything but "Normal" . We go days, even weeks, without hearing from our men. Dont get me wrong we dont want your pitty, we just want you to understand . Yes we are scared... but honestly we do not care about how you dont think you could handle it. It is so fustrating when you ask us how we do... Because to be completely honest we dont know HOW... but we do now WHY. We love our men.. we are proud of them. There is no other option for us. We knew getting in to these not so normal relationships that our life was no longer about us. We would now be taking back seat to The United States Army. Where the Army is the wife. And we are the secret dirty mistress... and lets face it ,the wife.. that B**** gets everything.


But we take the good with the bad. We learn the tricks of the trade, the lingo. Everything. The army soon becomes our life too. We become accustomed to the army life. You learn that when your man gives you a date for something make sure you mark it on the calender in pencil not pen, cause chances are, it is going to change. If you're a girlfriend or a fiance, even the wives because at some point every man goes away from weeks at a time... you learn that sex and all that stuff .. not having it for a while, is not the end of the world. That is possibly for me one of the most annoying questions i get asked. Maybe its the whole college scean, but when you ask me how do i go with out sex for so long it gets real annoying real fast, the moment your reationship is based on sex, in any relationship, you got yourself a problem. So quit asking us that.

Something that i have found to be a trend when i talk to other military girlfriends and wives is the fustration with fact when people ask us does he get to come home for your birthday... christmas.. his birthday. Hello this isnt a game of call of duty, you cant just hit pause and go hit resume when your done doing what you were doing. For us this isnt just some video game with really cool graphics.. for us the guns are real. the blood is real... the war.. this is our reality not some make believe cituation, where you're like a cat with 9 lives.

But the number one thing i think for me, that gets to me the most. We women whose men are deployed... its the question of Arent you scared hes ganna die. Honestly when our men are deployed we worry all day, everday. There is never moment we think "IM SURE GLAD HES OVER THERE HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE!! LET ME TELL YA!" no, thats not how this works. Yes, we are scared but we deal with. It doesnt matter the rank of our men because they are there together and we are here together, but we deal... together. Cause news flash theres not much we can do about it. It not like we can call someone ask for them not to send our men. Its doesnt get easier.. we just get used to it. It becomes apart of our everyday life.

With resent events of the obama administration sending over 30,000 more troops i realized a lot of people have felt the need to ask me "how i feel about it" Even my Accounting Professor. He knows about my boyfriend and how he is deployed. I responded with would you like an honest answear. and he replied yes. So i told him Me personally it makes no difference. My man is already over there. All it means to me personally is i know he will have the men and the sources to come home to me, not just for R&R but after his tour. But to me that number 30,000 more troops. To all of you thats just another number in you everday life, right under neither 2.59 for cost of gas. But for me i know that is somones Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband, wife.. that number is someones mommy, and another's daddy.. they are sons and daughters.. they arent just a number to me, to all of us who are left behind. So how i feel about it is it saddens me, but most of it makes me proud. because out the millions that live in america that my man is part of those thousdands who had the courage to to suit up and go out there and do his job without hesitation. For us its beyond politics, its beyond taxes and "how much its going to cost us" Which is insane to me how now everyone wants to take notice because what? its costing you something. What about the families that cost wasnt just a few dollars.. it was someone they loved's life. This is so beyond all that seprates us.. if anything it brought us together not only as americans... but the ones left to keep eveything together.. be here when they return...

Like said we arent complaining, we learn from the first week of when our man leaves for bootcamp dont even bother complaining cause we know you tune us out by week 3. I am just informing you. That we the unseen, the women that are left behind...we may be the strength behind the strong, but we too have our breaking points.

sam1024 sam1024
18-21, F
22 Responses Dec 8, 2009

i cried when i read this my man left today i feel empty and i keep having outbursts of tears....everything will be ok i keep telling myself because i know it will...stay strong girls.

absolutely beautiful girl...good job :)

It's a great paper but I'm not sure how picky your teacher is.. it could use some punctuation editing.

Ohhh more tears... I am a Sailor's girl but still very good essay! Completely right as far as I can relate too, I don't know much about the Army but it's true that you get used to the "lingo" and such

That was beautiful Sam ! You did a great job on this paper ! This honestly made me cry ! cause you said it all so well !!!! <3 I loved it !

Well said! I dont think it would be possible to make the points any better then you just did. I have been wanting to throw out those things for a while. Our men are not just a number that you see on the news. They are real people. They are OUR people.

This paper was so beautiful..and absolutely the truth. I cried. i love my soldier. it makes me even prouder than before to be an ARMY GIRLFRIEND. HOOAH :]

I honestly started crying when I read this. You said it perfectly! You aree sooo right no one will ever be able to understand how it feels to go through this everyday for years. And I agree I hate when people ask me "how I do it" or "why I do it" all I ever say to that is I'm in love with him so why wouldn't i. And itt takes the strength only some women have to do this.

HOOAH GIRL! thank you thank you thank you for writing that. i hope you got to read that allowed to the class. this paper rocks!

Love it! And you are right the outside world doesnt have a clue what its like to have a man who is deployed! And how hard it is! Very well put!

this is the first time i read something that sums up what me and my soldier have... this is truly something amazing and from the heart thank you for explaining what i could never find the words to say to others

I absolutely cried! this is sooo good!! thank you =)

This is so good! I love it. It made me cry. Powerful words & so true!! (:

as a soon to be army girlfriend that literally made me cry.Im already starting 2 hear the people and their opinion and hes not even in basic yet (but will be in about a month) Im just so glad i have girls like u 2 talk 2 n realize that being an army girlfriend is going 2 b the best thing ever.Yeah its going 2 b hard and cry and just miss him so much but im already so proud of him n cant wait 2 b strong like u girls =) btw I LOVED THIS PAPER!!!!

that was a very true paper. couldn't have put it any better myself

That was honestly, beautiful i couldnt say iot any better girl! Im almost teared up reading it. It's hard not having our men here but we must stay strong for them, love unconditionally and know they will be home soon. Just gotta keep the faith. Deployments are probably the hardest things to go through. Not knowing if they're okay or wanting to just hear their voice or hold them but cant. It's not easy, but it just makes us stronger. Stay Strong Sam! i'll keep you in my thoughts. if you need somone to talk to just message me or send me your screen name kay :)

omg writing i was bawling haha, im such a cry baby esp since my man deployed haha but thanks so much i worked really hard on it

wow a big HOOAH to you!!! that means alot you put it in perfect form and that is the truth for any military family... we wouldnt choose this life but we dam sure are proud of it... again hooah to you!!!!<br />
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ty that made me cry

Thanks girls, means alot !

that is so great and it made me tear!

Sam that is AMAZING! I love it!