My Final Paper For One Of My Classes Bout Us The Army Gf/fiances And Wives. Tell Me What You Think If I Should Add Anything.
We have no rank... Most of the time we go unnoticed. Our phones and email become a permenent 5th and 6th limb. We're scared but well never admit it to the outside world. You probably walk pass us and dont even realize it. You have probably seen us with our bloodshot eyes.. from not sleeping.. or from crying.. or from a late night or early morning phone call that lasted a whole 2 minutes and 15 seconds...with a quick "baby im okay , i love you so much". That we then lay in bed thinking about for the next 2 hours... And yet you as civilians .. the outside world, have no idea who we are.... we are the women that our men left behind.. we are army girlfriends, fiances, and wives...
Our relationships are anything but "Normal" . We go days, even weeks, without hearing from our men. Dont get me wrong we dont want your pitty, we just want you to understand . Yes we are scared... but honestly we do not care about how you dont think you could handle it. It is so fustrating when you ask us how we do... Because to be completely honest we dont know HOW... but we do now WHY. We love our men.. we are proud of them. There is no other option for us. We knew getting in to these not so normal relationships that our life was no longer about us. We would now be taking back seat to The United States Army. Where the Army is the wife. And we are the secret dirty mistress... and lets face it ,the wife.. that B**** gets everything.
But we take the good with the bad. We learn the tricks of the trade, the lingo. Everything. The army soon becomes our life too. We become accustomed to the army life. You learn that when your man gives you a date for something make sure you mark it on the calender in pencil not pen, cause chances are, it is going to change. If you're a girlfriend or a fiance, even the wives because at some point every man goes away from weeks at a time... you learn that sex and all that stuff .. not having it for a while, is not the end of the world. That is possibly for me one of the most annoying questions i get asked. Maybe its the whole college scean, but when you ask me how do i go with out sex for so long it gets real annoying real fast, the moment your reationship is based on sex, in any relationship, you got yourself a problem. So quit asking us that.
Something that i have found to be a trend when i talk to other military girlfriends and wives is the fustration with fact when people ask us does he get to come home for your birthday... christmas.. his birthday. Hello this isnt a game of call of duty, you cant just hit pause and go hit resume when your done doing what you were doing. For us this isnt just some video game with really cool graphics.. for us the guns are real. the blood is real... the war.. this is our reality not some make believe cituation, where you're like a cat with 9 lives.
But the number one thing i think for me, that gets to me the most. We women whose men are deployed... its the question of Arent you scared hes ganna die. Honestly when our men are deployed we worry all day, everday. There is never moment we think "IM SURE GLAD HES OVER THERE HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE!! LET ME TELL YA!" no, thats not how this works. Yes, we are scared but we deal with. It doesnt matter the rank of our men because they are there together and we are here together, but we deal... together. Cause news flash theres not much we can do about it. It not like we can call someone ask for them not to send our men. Its doesnt get easier.. we just get used to it. It becomes apart of our everyday life.
With resent events of the obama administration sending over 30,000 more troops i realized a lot of people have felt the need to ask me "how i feel about it" Even my Accounting Professor. He knows about my boyfriend and how he is deployed. I responded with would you like an honest answear. and he replied yes. So i told him Me personally it makes no difference. My man is already over there. All it means to me personally is i know he will have the men and the sources to come home to me, not just for R&R but after his tour. But to me that number 30,000 more troops. To all of you thats just another number in you everday life, right under neither 2.59 for cost of gas. But for me i know that is somones Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband, wife.. that number is someones mommy, and another's daddy.. they are sons and daughters.. they arent just a number to me, to all of us who are left behind. So how i feel about it is it saddens me, but most of it makes me proud. because out the millions that live in america that my man is part of those thousdands who had the courage to to suit up and go out there and do his job without hesitation. For us its beyond politics, its beyond taxes and "how much its going to cost us" Which is insane to me how now everyone wants to take notice because what? its costing you something. What about the families that cost wasnt just a few dollars.. it was someone they loved's life. This is so beyond all that seprates us.. if anything it brought us together not only as americans... but the ones left to keep eveything together.. be here when they return...
Like said we arent complaining, we learn from the first week of when our man leaves for bootcamp dont even bother complaining cause we know you tune us out by week 3. I am just informing you. That we the unseen, the women that are left behind...we may be the strength behind the strong, but we too have our breaking points.