its just beginning...

I'm sad, can't stop crying. every time i look at him I smile, then cry.

I want to know what is going to happen next. How long? What changes?

My boyfriend is joining the Marine Reserves because he is 28 and the Army won't accept after age 25.  I'm sure I sound like a panzy compared to all you girls... boot camp, then more training?  I know he'll be living as a "civilian" when he is all done with his trainings and stuff, but I am just sad and happy and proud all at once. my stomach hurts, i have a blank stare on my face all the time.

i need tips, facts, experiences...

please help. this is so hard.


lovestrength lovestrength
26-30, F
6 Responses Feb 12, 2010

I hear you!! When my boyfriend and I started dating I knew he was in the Army Reserves, but didn't think much of it. There was drill once a month and a two-week training earlier in the year; but all that was fine. But now he is preparing for deployment. That means that he is gone two weeks out of every month until the deployment. I'm lost. Just because your boyfriend will be Reserves does not mean there won't be sacrifices and time apart. I did not know this until now. It's all new to me and I am learning as I go. But you do just have to stay positive and support him. If you want to talk, I am here! I've been having a rough couple days and found that just talking about it makes things at least a little better. So I'm here if you need anything. :) Keep your head up!

yes, he is joining the Marine Reserves, maybe the age is different if its enlisting?

Its hard to be away from the one you love but like the other ladies said you really have to be strong you are going to be the one he goes to when he is feeling down... he's doing something good and it takes a lot of guts to do what are soldiers do they wake up and roll out they put thier lives on the line for our country day after day and they have to be away from the people they love and care about.... you need to think about everything your soldier is going to go through and you HAVE TO BE STRONG! your going to have your days where you cry at night because all you want to do is be back in your soldiers arms there is nothing wrong with crying but after you had your moment of tears wipe your face and keep going on with your life he's not going to want you feeling sad all the time he needs to know that you are okay ... its hard being a army girlfriend/ wife but your going to get through it ...keep busy and stay strong there are so many amazing ladies on this site to help you get through it yes your going to have your friends but if they are not going through the samething as you they are not really going to understand what you are feeling i learned that the first month of my boyfriend being deployed to iraq. all they could tell me was dont think about it so much or dont worry.... then i found this site and it really helps to talk to people who are going though the samething as me and you learn so much from one another <br />
i wish nothing but the best for you and your soldier dont worry so much and just keep your pretty little head up this will only make yall stronger! and if you ever need talk im here for you<br />
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I am totally trying so hard. I never show him my tears (only one time, but he cried first). I am totally excited and sad and happy all at once, so my emotions are just crazy. <br />
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We've been together for 2 years and our relationship has never been the "everyday together" type, and I am busy with work always, so I guess I'm more worried about unfamiliarity. <br />
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Yes, he is joining the Marine Reserves, which I think he said that he has to be 28 to initially join because that's as far as they accept? He wanted to do the Army Reserves at first but he was told he had to be 25 at the oldest, so I dunno really, I'm still educating myself.<br />
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We are still learning together and trying to cope with new changes. I know his mind is wandering more than mine, so I'm not going to put my emotions and worries on his shoulders, but since we haven't mentioned anything to our friends about it I haven't had the ability to tell people whats been bottled up inside me for so long, when he's ready to share with others I think it will be better for me (which is why i joined this online group, so i can talk about it)<br />
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I love to hear about what it was like during boot camp for them and the girlfriends. Stories like that will give me some insight on knowing what to expect. I know I can't talk to him, only write.. which i'm kinda excited about because I've always hated how impersonal life has become with cell phones and texting... written and spoken words are much more meaningful than a text or email.<br />
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Thanks girls, PLEASE stay 'REAL' with me, I need the kick in the butt... already, i feel better, and i need to stop being such a panzy!

That's funny... my soldier is in basic training for the army and he is 36. Maybe you mean the army reserves?

Hmmm You need to stay positive for sure. If you are planning on being with this guy for the long haul, then he will need your support. You must get out of the woe is me attitude. I cannot tell you how many times women, civillian or otherwise, are told to get a life of their own. I do not mean to become so independent of him to where you do not know each other anymore, but enough to where you are not so dependent on him for every need and the attraction will stay alive. Neediness and insecurity are the quickest way you could lose your man. You will need to be a strong woman, because in every relationship bad times WILL come. If you do not pull yourself together, stress will bring some sickness upon you. If you are physically and mentally unstable, how will you take care of yourself and your future children (if you don't have any)?