A Whole New Life

Hi Ashley!

I know what you are going thru. I am new to the whole military lifestyle and just begining my first deployment. My husband just left for Iraq last week. I am a complete mess! The first two days I cried all day. Went to work and basically sat and my desk and cried. I have held it together slightly better the last few days altho there isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think about him. I miss him soo much and I can't stand to think its going to be soo long before I see him again. I have been able to talk to him a few times, but I tend to cry the whole time. I am working so hard to try not to cry and be strong for him bc I know thats what he needs. I need to be OK for him.

I'm learning very quickly how difficult this lifestyle is. It's not easy and you have no choice but to be strong. I wish I had advice that would make everything better but I am still working on finding that! :) I have tried to stay busy, it doesn't get my mind off of it, but it can make the time go by. I have a hard time not thinking about how longs its going to be until I see him, but I am really trying to just think in terms of getting thru one day at a time. I wake up and am ready to get the day over with so its one day closer to seeing him. Going day by day instead of thinking long term is helpful.

With 3 babies on your own, that should keep you busy!!! I know that must be hard for all of you. I don't have any babies, but one on the way. I have that to try to keep me busy as well.

Talking to others on here who are going thru similar situations helps alot. Your not alone, and there are lots of us who are trying to cope!

Keep your head up and message me anytime!

hey sweetie! i kind of know what you are going through, only i did it without the kids, which in a way could be worse. all i can say is i promise it will get better. when my hubby went to boot i died inside, i quit my job and sat at home and cried. i really thought i would die, then i started asking others what they had done in my spot (my sis in law was a navy wife and my sister was a marine wife). you have to emerse yourself into your life. i found that scrapbooking helped. it takes a lot of time but it gave me something to pass time quickly. i made a special scrapbook of just the two of us and showed it to him when he came home. start planning his first day home, what you are gonna do and try to make it perfect. but as awful as it is to say, it is only something to get used to! as an army wife all we can do is wait! wait on them to get home and be a family. it will not get easier as years go on. just this past summer my hubby went to air assult school and LDAC ( ROTC officer training) and it was only 2 months, again i thought i would die! but i only cried for a day, instead of 3 weeks! i wish you all the luck in the world and i hope i have helped! if you ever need to talk im here!!!

hey girl. your husband is right, he will most definately be going overseas, but it might not be right away. all i can say is you need to prepare yourself emotionally ahead of time, or else it will be twenty times harder to get through. i know its hard to be away from someone you love so much. my husband just got back from afghanistan. when he first left i honestly felt like i wanted to die and that i just wasnt going to make it through. but i did. and you will too. you will be suprized at how strong and brave you actually are. rotcwife is correct though. as an army wife you will spend a lot of time waiting for them. as frustrating as it may be at times, remember why your doing it. so smile, try to keep busy and write him lots of letters, cards and send packages. it will really be over before you know. but dont count down the days girl - it makes the days go by slower.

YOU WILL BE FINE! Your a mama of 3 little ones, so you know you already have the patients and strength in you! Yes, write lots of letters and send care packages etc. REMEMBER each day that he is gone is NOT one day further away from you BUT one day closer to him being home with you and the kids!

don't worry your not alone. im also amy wife ... just keep yourself busy, take care of yourself and your little kids. it is very tough to be an army wife. i'm first time mom and 1 1/2 yr married to my hubby. just be strong. if you need someone to talk to. i'll be here to listen... so xoxo

Hi, hope you are doing good. My husband is in Iraq and I am having hard times too. I am just looking for a friend to chat with. Have a good day.

Hi Ashley,

I know exactly what you are going through. My husband just joined the Army in February and left for basic training in May (The day after our 9h anniversary)! We have been married for 9 years, we are 29 years old. My husband graduated Aug 6th, 2009 at Ft. Jackson Basic Training and I thought the worst was over. Now he is at Ft. Bragg AIT and it's seems even harder to have him gone. He will have 4 more weeks of Airborne training after his AIT at Ft. Benning. He should be back before Thanksgiving. We have 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 and we have been together since we were 16 years old. We have never left each other's side for this long since we first met so this has been so hard on me. I cried everyday for the first 3 weeks until I got his first letter which still made me cry (some of happiness). Then I was able to talk to him just about every Sunday for awhile, and I began to do better with this situation. Now he's at Ft. Bragg and has a laptop to do webcam and uses his phone a lot. I thought that would be better, but now I know he has all of this stuff and I expect him to call and talk forever which he can't do because of the stuff he has to do or the studying. It's frustrating even more so than not talking to him everyday. I am getting used to it and he has 47 days left till we see him again. My 3 year old is very sad that he's gone, but we do things to keep her busy and today we made a paper chain with the number of days till he comes back, and hung it in the living room. Everyday they are going to tear one off and that gets us closer to seeing him again. I don't know if that will help your 2 year old, but you could try it! I also watch Army Wives on Lifetime every Sunday Night at 10pm eastern which helps because it's something familiar and feel like they are friends of mine. I also use the goarmyparents.com website for updates and meeting family of the soldiers that are with my husband. I even met one of them while I was at Graduation. You might want to try that, and if you want to chat with me anytime your more than welcome to. I'm a preschool teacher and a college student so I don't have much to do while my girls are at school Take care and we will survive through this together!