Married Yet On "Other Woman" Status...

If you are suffering though a deployment to a combat zone right now, you probably don't want to read this.

Sweet and sentimental...this isn't. Raw, unvarnished and opinionated. Yes...Offensive, probably...but it's how I'm feeling right now.

I am an Army Wife. A real one, not like that stupid lifetime show. My husband has spent more time with the army than with me or my children in the seven years we were married. In fact, he was deployed to Iraq a month after our wedding when the Iraq war was announced. He's had a total of 3 combat tours lasting 12- 18 months a piece. Now we live overseas where I can only see him on weekends. He says every year he is getting out. But he'll be in for 20 years.  It's in his blood, as much as he complains about it. Even if he did try to leave after 8 years, they'd backdoor draft him, just like his friends and co-workers. I believe the Constitution is worth defending and dying for. To me only one document is more important...the KJV Bible.  Freedom is also with fighting for and it ain't free. I, I know that this is not really what's being defended today. I resent that the best citizens of this country are casually sent to war non-stop to make contractors and corporations wealthy. I'm bitter at the fact that my husband, your husband, boyfriend, son, brother was sent to Iraq with very little water, armor and vital supplies. The leadership could care less when questioned about it.


If our country was invaded, yes I would and expect my family to defend our home to the last. But why should my family suffer to enrich people who would just assume we are all bastard criminals and living stereotypes? I don't think most people are worth this sacrifice today. Why are my kids, your kids anyone's kids less deserving of their father than others? I'm grateful that my family has all that they need in these economic times. If we didn't, I guess relationship wise, it would still be messed up anyway.

With the constant physical separations, we are now emotionally growing distant, regardless of what I do. Even when he's home, he's there mentally and not completely here. I'm grateful that my family has all that they need in these economic times. I feel like I'm the last wife in a polygamous marriage at best, the "other woman" on a bad day.


laughinkatt laughinkatt
31-35, F
4 Responses Feb 9, 2009

Amen.<br />
<br />
On another note, my father was a WW II vet, Navy, South Pacific and lived through the Battle of Leyte Gulf, where his ship was hit by a Kamikazee. Even though he had a full life after the War, his experiences always remained with him, behind the curtains. Even as late as the 1980's, not long before he died, my Father still needed to talk with his surviving shipmates. It was their way of decompressing even after 40 years. Friends and family, no matter how close just couldn't do it, it had to be the men he served with. That's how it is with Warriors.

release and breath. and yes I agree with the other ladies as well, you have to let it go!

I agree 100% with MrsSpecialistP here that is well said. Do try to unload that kind of mental baggage it will drag you down in this life style if you don't, good luck dearest.

I can understand that. I'm really happy that we have an income while the economy is taking a dump but it has been at the cost of seeing my husband and starting a family. <br />
I'm not going to attempt to make you feel better about sending our men over there to fight in the war but i will tell you how i cope with it. you can do with it what you will. <br />
An intel guy has to have a top secret clearance to even walk through the office. All i'm saying is. We don't have all the facts and its not worth the stress to get worked up over it. I tried it for a while and i couldn't cope. This group is a great outlet for anger, bitterness, fear and joy. i'm glad your using it. But i hope that these feelings go anywhere else with you because i can't imagine carrying that around with me. if you ever want to talk just message me. I'm always around. God bless dear.