Scared Sick!

My fiance and the father of my two month old son if leaving March 3rd. He went in less then a month ago and signed all the papers. Everything is moving so fast and I have no idea what I should do. I dont know if we should get married before he leaves or wait? I can't get answers from anyone I need help. Also in a few months my family is moving to TX and I dont know if I should stay or go. I've never lived alone and even though he is back from training in OCT. he could get deployed right? what is the chance? I really need people who can relate and know how I feel. I just dont think I can do this without him Im still so young and Im so scared I cant think. PLEASE HELP!

KundeWife KundeWife
18-21, F
14 Responses Feb 25, 2009

In my expierience , all the bases have their good points, and downfalls, but with your family moving to Texas, have you thought about going to one there? It might give you great peace knowing that your family is so close, or being from Chicago, maybe Ft. Campbell? Or is there a base closer to Chicago than Campbell??IDK?


My new husband and the man that holds my heart left for Fort Benning today and I am so heart broken. I took him to the office yesterday and they took him. He was leaving from Chicago and he didn't want me driving out there with the baby since I've never done it before. But i had to see him one more time and me and Sebastian jumped in the car and made it there to see daddy sware in. I have seen him and spoken to him through the day and still my heart is braking without him here. How do you women do this all alone for so long, Im so glad we got married before he left I would have regretted not doing it. <br />
<br />
Ok so here is the question, we are trying to figure out what to put on our wish list could you ladies recommend a base and why so I can figure out where to go..Thank you all again!!!<br />
<br />

Congratz! Hooah! Welcome to the army life, it's a ball.

Oh Congrats! I kind of did the same thing. While my (now) husband was home on leave we got married, and are planning the big to do with the family for b4 he deploys. Now things are moving quickly. He is getting deployed at the end of the year. I couldnt imagine him going over seas without us marrying first. If something were to happen I would rather have 9 months as his wife than nothing. It is not about money or anything. I am moving to b with him in a couple weeks. It is also good to know there r wives all over going through the same things as you. This is all very new to me, but I wouldnt have it any other way. Keep posted on how things are going.

Hoo RAY! Congrats! and welcome to the Army wife Life! :) Frogs2010

So yesterday I got married in blue jeans with my best friend and my 2 month old as our guests. Then we had subway for dinner and our little wedding cake from walmart..very yummy! He leaves in 4 days and Im glad its taken care of...thank you everyone for the advice!

i completely understand how you feel, my husband left for basic january 20th our son was 2 months old. we got married in december at justice of the peace, it has been almost 6 weeks and i love him more and more each day, it is hard as hell being away from him, and raising our son on my own but it will all be worth it. we bought a video camera before he left and recorded everything, one of our biggest worries was julien (our son) that he wouldnt remember him, so i videotaped them everyday. then before he left he left us a message and told us to wait to watch it, my son is almost 4 months now and we watch video of him everyday and he laughs and coos then when it goes off he fusses. i just didnt want to go to graduation and him cry when he went to his dad. everything will be fine, its hard some days is easier then others but you will get through it and plus having the baby helps

It is true! Please don't loose anymore time! Go to walmart get rings, get a cake, if you go to the cake decorating dept Wilton has cute silk bouqets of flowers! So haul buns to the justice of the peace! Congrats!

He has been told he will recieve money for us being married to stay in the app. how does this work if it is true. He is going in as an e3 if that helps.

Agree with all the above! My husband & I knew each other ( if that's what you can call it!) for 2 1/2 months before we ran to the justice of the peace and tied the knot. We have been together for 9 years now , all spent in the Army. Our plan was to have a nice wedding after the fact, but as time moved on, it was like what for, we are already married! Now we joke, everytime he buys me a new car, or something big like that , that that was in lieu of a wedding. In our minds, a wedding is expensive, and just starting out in the Army, there are more practical things to spend the money on.Like gas and food!LOL!(sorry, in our expierience, young soldiers don't get paid enough!!We stayed broke in the first few years!)We have never once regretted the decision to have a quickie wedding. The Army DOES take care of it's own and if he is getting deployed you and your child need to be in the system.

Don't worry yourself, If you 2 are ready to get married..DO IT!<br />
You won't be alone. The Army will take care of you and your son. My hubby and I had the small JP wedding on his R&R from deployment.....and it was great! We plan on the BIG THING when he returns.<br />
Yes it is possiable for him to be deployed right after, but not likely.<br />
You and your finance need to sit down and discuss all this together...<br />
You'll be ok! This will make you a stronger person!<br />
Here if you need anything!

I completely agree with Frogs. You need to do what you can to take care of your family, and right now, that is getting married. You will have more time to take care of your man and your son because you wont have this other stuff to be concerned with. You can always have the "big" wedding later. MANY of my army friends have done that and it does not make your marriage any less special. You will definitely be ok!! You learn as you go. Even women who grew up as army brats have lots to learn as an army wife. You can read books and talk to other wives, but there is so much that you just learn on your own. It is really a wonderful life! you will be fine:) Let me know if you need anything!

Because there is a child here, my advise to you is get married NOW. You will have health care and so will the baby, if something bad happens to your man you are the next of kin other wise it is his mother or dad who make all legal decisions for him, (say he lands in a coma do you want to make the decision to pull the plug or them? Also if his SGLI doesn't say who the money should go to it will be his next of kin which won't be your child (until that child is at least 18)it will be his parents who recive all monies and estate business) Also if you are married you can get on post housing for you and your child. Look, I know you allways wanted that big wedding we all do, but that right now, is not your path in life. right now you need to take care of this new family you made. Go get some gold bands go to the justice of the peace and pick up a buttercream wedding cake from walmart (trust me they are really good) have some friends meet you at a bar and grill have a couple of beers, take your camera! Believe it or not dearest some of the best and strongest marriages in the Army start out this way! But cover your butt, get married today. Congrats! Frogs2010<br />
If you have and other army wife questions just feel free to message me ok? :) your going to be ok.