As Soon As We Married, He Left

My husband and I met, January of 2009, different factors kept us apart until November of that same year.  When we reunited the love and all the emotions were still there and the love grew so strong until we decided to get married, he was supposed to be deployed December of that year, however, it was delayed.  It was supposed to be delayed until March 2010, so we decided to continue with the marriage January 2010, and we married January 25, 2010. Little did we know, he would be deployed January 30, 2010.  So here I am now, I knew this would eventually happen, being an army wife, of course. I just didn't figure it would be this hard, it's like a part of me is missing.  He's just so, Idk, like there for me and now there's no one there.  The days I hear from hear (via yahoo webcame video calls) are great, and we laugh and talk just like he's still in America, but his base has been hit twice since he left, and that worries me.  So days like today, when I don't hear from him at all make me scared as Hell.  My first thoughts are, "What if they took a direct hit and he's gone, like completely and I wouldn't know anything until someone contacted me", this eats at me and I break down.  How am I supposed to deal with this until November?? What if he doesn't make it back at all.  We JUST got married, not even time enough for the honeymoon and he's gone, and there's no 100% gurantee he's coming back.   People try to console me with things like, it's not that long, he'll be back soon, or he's in a safe zone, he'll be fine.  My thing is, okay, he's in Iraq, really how SAFE can it be, I'm a pesimist at times and the first thought is the worst.  I lost the first love of my life to a car accident, if I loose him, I'm going to loose IT, period.   It makes me wonder if I was truly ready to marry not him per say, but the Army.  This is hard, and there's no one to turn to to know what to say or that feels my pain, that's why I joined this site, I know there are thousands of women going through what I'm going through, so maybe this'll help me out.

 

Michelle Alexandria Grimsley

MrsGrimsleyMode MrsGrimsleyMode
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 27, 2010

Sounds familiar! are you on base near base?? I would go there and set involved with his units family stuff. I was over 200 miles away from a base so it was real hard for to totally connect. Ask him next time ur on yahoo ....who he trusts in his unit and ask then find his wife or SO to connect with. I do know how you feel. I am trying to think of the things I wasn't able to do. SO maybe you can! Whats his FOB do you know. I fund that preparing care packages with love and a special touch really helped. I sent my husband an old skool photo album....I removed most of the pages and in each box I added more pages. I did collages just different stuff I thought he might like.<br />
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Hope this helps.<br />
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Mrs.BLANK