I Need Honest Advice!!

Well here it goes..

I am 21 and live in New York. Let me say first, I am not an immature 21 year old. I have a business degree, work full time at a law firm and have a good head on my shoulders. (anyone who really knows me will tell you I'm very mature for my age) ANYWAYS.. In January I met the love of my life, Adam. He was home for 2 weeks and we absolutely fell in love. He is currently active in the army and is in Iraq. I talk with him every day and things are great. It is really hard for me being here and him being there, but I tell myself every day that goes by is one day closer to seeing him. He is scheduled to end his tour in Iraq in August. Then he gets one month leave, then gets put back on base in Hawaii. We plan to get married so I can goto Hawaii with him. (please dont comment on how young I am or how soon this is, my mind is set) When you know you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you just know. I need to know what life is like being an army wife, living on base. What do you fear most? What are the benefits of it? Did things go as planned, or how much did things change? I feel like I have this great, perfect plan in my head and that for some reason things aren't going to be as great and easy as they seem. Please tell me what you think. thanks!

fanderson13 fanderson13
18-21, F
4 Responses Mar 7, 2010

Go 4 it

This life is hard, and at times you may get angry, annoyed, frustrated, ect... as the Spouse of a Military Man, exspecially a wife (husbands dont seem to have a stereotype), you will be exspected to "follow" him around to his new stations, which could be every 2 years. The Military exspects you to be that "picture perfect wife" and be involved in everything! Thats what was exspected of me... But in all honesty, not ever spouse is like that. Yes, I will move anywhere with my husband and I will be involved like I am now, but i refuse to let myself be that "picture perfect Army Wife". I am a normal 22 year old! I am always asked why we dont have kids yet- simple were young and want to enjoy our time together and see the world, but being a Military Family- everyone thinks we should have kids now- that all i do is sit at home. Stationed here in Korea, its hard to find a job, but i do what I can. I am also our FRG Leader in the Unit.. Im involved with our Unit ALOT- I receive calls/emails from my Command, but they know- when it hits 1700 and my husband is off, that becomes my priority. To spend time with him. We live off base, which helps out a lot. Living off base can make it seem more 'normal'. Your husband leaves and goes to work and comes home.. i like living off-post, as did my mom as a Marine Wife. On-post (which is where we'll most likely live when in the states) makes it a little harder to seperate the 2. My advice is, let the Army be his job, not your guys life. There is a difference.... Its a hard life, schedules change all the dang time, you can go days, weeks even months without getting to hold your spouse, and/or hearing their voice, but that rush of excitment and the honeymoon phase are always fun to relive! We get to fall in love with our spouses over and over again, and there are others in every Unit who know how you feel.. Remember to NEVER be fully dependant on your spouse. You have to be able to 'live on your own' cause we have to a lot. I wouldnt change this life for anything, its hard, and at times i hate it- but its made our relationship so much stronger, and we are able to communicate soo much better, we know that sex isnt everything... our marriage is stronger and better and i wouldnt change that for anything....<br />
Oh and being 'young' who cares!? You truly do know when its ment to be, its ment to be. When I got married I was 19, my husband was 21.... were still going strong, and very happy!

Army Life is very rough at times, but like the lady above me very easy at times tooo.. Me and my husband has been together for 5 years and he joined the Army last April.. We had it all planned that we would be together after AIT .. be that family again.. Wrong. I found out that I was pregnant 2 weeks before he left for Basics.. I have seen him two times from April 2009 -now.. Once at basics and after he graduated AIT he got to come home for a month.. I have a 2 year old and now an almost 4 year old that daddy has never seen.. His orders was Korea.. and I havent seen him since October 09.. I am currrently waiting on command sponsorship which is a long process of never ending paperwork.. The Army never goes as planned.. but I love my husband dearly for his commitment to his country. To me this is the toughest thing that I have ever had to go through but It would be 10 times better if we were together.. You get to travel with your husband and experience different ways of life.. Go for it.. and Just be happy.. :))))

Ok, first off you are not too young and moving too quickly. I agree with you. Being an army wife will e very difficult at times and very easy at other times, it depends on the cituation. Of course all fear is that our man will die while he is away from us, but most people fear that everyday walking out of their homes, so it depends on how you look at it. Things for me changed drastically. My husband and I had been together for 7 years when he decided to join and it went from honey i am home to honey i am alone. It was really hard at first, but over time it has become much easier as time goes by,