Only Four Days In...

this past saturday i said "see you soon" to my husband, PFC infantry with the US Army. he boarded a plane sunday to head for afghanistan to live out a year-long tour. i am absolutely devastated. we have known each other for a little over five years and been together a majority of them. he joined the army in august of 2009 and spent his time for basic training and AIT at Ft. Benning, GA. family day was the weekend of halloween, and on october 31st, the love of my life and best friend got down on one knee, gave me a ring and asked me "the" question. aside from our wedding day, that was the happiest day of my life. we talked a lot about when to get married, but ultimately decided it was best to do it before he got orders in case it was somewhere i couldn't accompany him. so while he was home on christmas exodus, on december 31st, we had a small but absolutely perfect ceremony at a sweet little chapel and new year's party here at home. our honeymoon was hardly a honeymoon at all, considering he needed to report back to benning january 4th - but we plan on treating ourselves to a real one when he gets home next spring. anyway.. he spent three weeks back in GA waiting for orders (if any organization had their **** together, you'd think it would be the US military.... WRONG) before he had to report to ft. drum, four hours away from home. about a week later, he learned that he would be deploying right away. after a little over a month full of in-processing and briefs, the army took my heart to afghanistan. that's the end of my story. i'm a mess. my heart hurts. i got a message this morning from him that said he wasn't in afghanistan yet and wasn't sure where he was other than on an air force base with a crappy wifi connection, but i'll tell you something. i've been thanking God all day for that crappy internet connection. i've been sick since sunday night with worry, just waiting to hear that he's alright. i know he's not even in any danger, but the thought of him so far away is scary on it's own.

wow this ended up being alot longer than i anticipated. for anyone who took the time to read, thank you. and please feel free to share any feelings/advice/thoughts. i am new here,  just need an outlet & friends who can relate.

i'm going to write my husband a letter that i can't even send until i get an address, and who knows when that'll be..



snavemanirhc snavemanirhc 22-25, F 9 Responses Mar 10, 2010

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Your very welcome.. Nobody came into this wild army life with instructions on how to be that awesome army wife.. you just have to be strong and its hard because i look around at all these couples that have their husband or have dad around and that is what upsets me.. I love my husband. we was high school sweethearts and never did I imagine 5 years later and 2 kids he would be in the Army.. i always thought I couldnt make it without seeing me everyday and going to bed everynight with him by my side but this new life of mine has really brought some strengths in my own self that i knew never exsisted so.. it has been one heck of a ride and from what i hear about Korea from mutual army wives they absolutely love it.. I just hope that I can love it and embrace the culture like others.. but hang in there.. see about the webcam deal maybe he can do that kind of stuff in afganistan maybe not i have no idea but if you can .. it helps out so much.. not like having him here by all means but its better than nothing.. if you ever need someone just message me .. im always on well most of the times

thank you so much. i feel for you and your family - i know how hard what i'm going through is so i can only imagine the last year of your lives. my husband has only been deployed three and a half weeks and i've already learned that sitting home and crying and thinking about how much i miss him won't bring him home to me any sooner. so i'm going to work and i'm spending time with his family and our friends and smiling every day because i have him as my husband, even if he is overseas. he's being strong for us and i refuse do anything but stay strong for him. thank you again, it is wonderful to hear from you and read about the experiences that make us who we are. <3

My husband joined active duty April the 6th of 2009. He went to Basic Training .. done his AIT .. first duty station was Korea.... So i kinda know how it feels with him being away.. He got to come home in September 09 and stayed home a month.. I had a baby in November that he hasnt even seen yet.. and I have an active 2 year old that has went almost a whole year without dad.. April 6 of this year will basically be one year since I have lived with my husband and he isnt even deployed .. that is the messed up part about it.. I can tell you this right now it is hurting and it probably always will until you see him.. but if he is able to get online that is what is helping my situation.. we see each other on webcam.. or that 5 minute phone call will brighten your day for sure.. Hang in there.. I have major support from my family and friends. if i didn't I dont know what i would do.. One best advice I could give you . . don't sit there in the house alll day eveyday.. cuz you will literally go crazy.. I think my year being away from my husband has flew by but it was also one of the hardest things I have ever been through.. It gets better.. just if you need anyone jus message us.. Hope everything goes good and I hope you will hear from him soon..

when my husband signed his active duty contract, we were under the same impression. but the army is full of unknowns and surprises, i've learned. to ease some more shock, be prepared for a lot of run-arounds and unanswered questions. he and i were talking before he left for afghanistan and i said "if there was any organization in the world that i thought would have their **** together, it'd be the US military.. but they sure showed us" the only way i've been able to deal with it is telling myself that i have no control and if i can't change it, i shouldn't get upest about it. it is hard, but as long as he gets you both squared away (paperwork, insurance, etc..) you'll be just fine. we have no children yet, but that's our next step when he comes home in the spring. =) to answer your question, i'm pretty sure he's 11B, but i just tell everyone that asks that he's infantry. ha.. but hey, no problem for sharing.. i'm just trying to find ways to deal with the deployment. God bless you and your family, and you'll be in my prayers in hopes Marco will have Daddy home for a good long time. <3

My husband is in AIT right now, he graduates May 27th and is being stationed in Fort Campbell, Kentucky. I was under the impression that if your soldier is stationed in the U.S., he will not be deployed as fast as if he was stationed somewhere in Europe. This is real depressing to hear that your hubby was deployed right away. I have a son who is 7 months at the time and his dad started BCT two weeks after Marco (my son) was born. I was hoping my soldier would be with me for at least a year before deploying but i guess you don't really know in the Army. Thanks for posting your story, it really opened my eyes and now at least I won't be in shock if it happens to me. By the way, what MOS is your hubby? Mine is 15F (Aircraft Electrician)

i wish that the lack of support from my family was because they don't know anything about the situation. i don't have much family that i talk to, and the ones that i do just say things like "you better stop thinkin about it or the next year is gonna be miserable" my husband found out he was being deployed before he even got put on a housing list so i have yet to experience life on post, too. i live a few minutes from a small air reserve station, but i don't even know how to go about using it to my advantage. work is the only think keeping me afloat right now, and i'm pretty sure that's what i'm gonna have to lean on until i start getting letters from him.. and yes, sunshine after the rain.. i always say "it takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow" i know he'll be back, and i'm actually thankful he's gone now instead of having to leave after we had gotten settled and comfortable, ya know? i'm pretty tired of hearing people tell me that the year will go by fast, but at the same time, i do know that the day i get to have his arms wrapped around me i'm going to think "has it really been a year already?" thank you so much, for reading and sharing your thoughts and experience. it really does mean alot. also, thank you for your prayers. <3

I know exactly what you are going through. My husband just returned from a year long tour in Iraq. My family too was non supportive, but I think it is just because they know so little about the army life. I have never lived on or near an army post so I didn't have the support of an FRG or anything during the deployment. My best advice is to keep busy and know that there is sunshine after the rain. When my husband first left, i had people telling me it's ok and that the time will fly. At the time I would think to myself it's not ok. My heart is hurting. Now, as I look back, time really did fly by. Of course you won't see it as you're going through it but you will see it when you look back on it. I will pray for you and hope that you find a way to cope with your husband being gone. Best of luck to you!!!!

thank you very much. staying busy (working full time) is my only coping mechanism right now. my family is pretty far from supportive, but i think it's because they don't know how to be. truth is, i don't know what to suggest either. my goal on this site was to meet new people, even if they're miles away - because i don't have many friends period, let alone someone who has/is going through anything like my situation. if i had to guess, i'd say i pray twenty times a day that he comes home to me next spring. the hardest part for me right now is not knowing that he's even there yet.. i've been strong my whole life through alot of things, but this takes the cake. i'm trying.. you and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers as well. thank you again, it means alot to hear from you.

I am becoming an active duty army wife soon. I can only imagine what you are going through. Try to stay real active with your friends and family why he is deployed. Mainly just try to stay busy but I know you will worry constantly I will do the same thing if my husband ever deploys. Meet new friends and pay for your soldiers safe return. I hope everything gets a little easier for you. Stay strong and keep your up.