My Art Model Initiation

 FYI : As I review this information, more details come back to me so, I am updating this information, as I remember more.Although these events took place quite a long time ago now, I was 19 living about 25 miles outside of London, UK. I thought that I would share them.

This was in a lot less open times. I was a virgin and aware that I was gay- although had never done anything about it(unfortunately at the time "gay" was not the word used) . My only awareness of homosexuality was occasional reports in local newspapers about some poor guy being arrested in a public toilet for "public indecency". I saw myself as a kind of young hippy I guess, but I was very lonely and shy and really had no idea how to change this status. I was living at home and unemployed , frightened of becoming stuck in a mundane regular job, but knowing it was me that was going  to have  change it. I kept myself very fit by swimming and running, but in those days I had never even seen a fully naked man, local swimming baths were quite prudish, every one got changed in their cubicle. And the school I had gone to although had physical exercise and sports, did not have showers.
  But something had happened recently, my younger sister had got married and  one of her husband's relatives, his uncle I think had got a little tipsy and started to make  a lot of compliments to me, he had seen me taking care of one of the children, and started to call me the 'salt of the earth' etc, it wasn't' much but my Dad didn't like it at all and there was some kind of physical skirmish.  The next day my eldest sister drew reference to it at dinner laughing and saying that he was a bit "funny'. I just got more embarrassed, but it struck a chord  in me, and made me even more aware of the feeling of being "different"

Anyhow, I had started to take an occasional train ride to London, and try to look around for something-I don't know what, to change my life and one day I found a want ad for art models at probably the city's most important art school. It wasn't' even current but I took the # and called it and suddenly found myself with an appointment for an interview.
   The location was reached through the back of the school and I was checked in by a doorman/security guard, who was very "camp", if your familiar with the actor Kenneth Williams it was like he was channeling him. He quite boldly stared at me knowing I was there for modelling and almost appraising me, which made me even more embareressed. He made a phone call and after some time a woman appeared who led me back to the office of the the person I was to see. She knocked at his door and entered and said "this is the model, Alan".

The man who stood up from behind the desk was quite a surprise. Although I guessed him to be about 40 he was very good looking-handsome, with a shock of Grey air, and looked to be in good shape from what I could tell.   He was dressed in business suit, shirt & tie. He took my hand and gave it a firm shake and  introduced himself as- I'll call him "Mr Edwards" I sat down and had my interview which was basically "have you done this before?" "you do  realize it is nude modelling? he asked me my height and weight and a few more questions mixed up with general chit chat as he wrote things down.

I was quite unprepared for the next step when he advised me that he would like to see me naked. Which I suppose makes sense, but it is the only time that I have ever been asked to ***** for a modelling job other than the actual modelling. He led me to a back room with a small podium in the middle of it , and asked me to get undressed and stand on the podium and let me know when I was ready, and then returned to his office, leaving the door ajar, I nervously ******** off and took my place on the podium trying to assume what I thought would be a noble. artistic pose, totally wishing I had not made the decision to do this. Anyhow I called out "I'm ready" And he stepped back in. He stopped for a few moments directly in front of me looking me up and down and, it seemed to me, looking for a longer time at my midsection, he then circled and started to make some comments about how I was in excellent shape, and "you look very good", "I am surprised your body is so hairy-you look so young." ( I am not overly hairy just chest hair really, but I suppose I lookled very young) "I think you will be a very popular model" You have excellent muscle definition" 'We also have sculptors here would you be interested in modelling for them? " I asked if it was different than the regular  modelling  and he said that they had occasion to touch the model. I gulped and said that it would be OK. The next thing I knew he was on the podium next to me and gripped my bicep and then my shoulder telling me that I really was in excellent condition, slowly I became aware that this physical intimacy was for me a hugely exciting and never before experienced sensation, and I started to get aroused. I  didn't know if it was just the experience of being manhandled in such a blatant way, or because I found Mr Edwards himself very attractive.   Either he didn't notice or chose to ignore my rising ****, and I didn't know what to say.  He bent down and squeezed my calf and ran his hand up to my thigh confirming that my muscles were very firm, by this time my penis was fuly erect,  and then slowly patted my stomach and slid his hand down my belly, complementing me on my muscles and  letting his hand  come to rest with the edge nestled in my pubic hair and my throbbing / straight up erection curving back and  almost touching his hand. "Yes I think you will be a very popular model, but if you present this fine looking fellow to a sculptor he may or may not need to handle it. would you be comfortable with that?" And as he said this he firmly grasped my erection which allowed my foreskin to fully slide back and completely expose the swollen head, it seemed to me that my **** had never been so big ... ( I did not realize telling my story would bring back so many details, and I'm out of time I 'll try to continue this at a later time, if you are interested)

My Story continues:

As I look back at this, I remember that Mr Edwards gave a warm smile. I think he was trying to put me at ease by addressing my obvious arousal, and also acknowledging that it would be noticed. And obviously it would be difficult for him to ignore it.   know that I was incredibly embarrassed , but also excited. However he reliquished his grasp on my **** and  left me to get dressed and, then I returned to join him, somewhat shamefaced,  in his office.
He again complimented me on my body, and let me know that I was somewhat late in my application for work as he had already scheduled the models for the classes through to the end of the year. I wan't sure if I was relieved or disappointed. But then he offered an opportunity for the following week-end , letting me know that a small group of teachers & students and others occasionally got together on Sunday afternoons and that the model scheduled had called in and can celled and would I like to take the job. I, still not knowing what I was really agreeing to, agreed and said that I would be there.

When I arrived that Sunday it was early- the job was scheduled for 2:00pm and I was outside at 1:15. I had no preparation, this was before the use of the WWW brought all of these things into easier access, so I arrived without a robe- a pair of sandals etc. I nervously hovered around in a doorway some distance away and observed the comings and goings trying to figure out who was there for the session and not sure even if I would actually do it or run off. In fact I think the only thing that stopped me was a sense of duty, that I had accepted the job and it would be very bad form not to keep my word.

At exactly 10 minutes before 2:00 I entered the building, the same doorman was there and I said I was there to be the model and could he tell me where to go. He led me to an enormous room with sky lights ,he said his name was Edward and that everyone called him "Teddy". He pointed to a small room - almost like a cupboard in the back of what was the posing area and said "You can get your kit off in there, no one's here yet , it's normally a pretty small group, I'll see you later.."
I sat on one of the the edge of a bench and literally twiddled my thumbs for about 10 minutes, it was nearly 2:10 before any body arrived and I was kinda of mixed emotions- breathing a sigh of relief thinking that nobody was going to show and disappointment that after all my nervous excitement that it was going to result in nothing happening. The 2 young men that entered were obviously co students and were chatting away as they entered, one of them addressed me " Are you the model?" When I acknowledged that I was he looked at his friend and said "Great, its nice to get a guy and one who In's't't fat or old.. we're used to mostly women and old men"

As they started to set up their easels, I asked "Should I get ready?"
"Yeah, that would be OK," I found myself quietly stating that I hadn't modeled before and was not quite sure what was expected. the one who had spoke first said his name was Steve and his friend was Martin, and said it was ok and that normally they started with some warm up poses and then gradually longer ones and then the last 2 hours was normally one pose with a 30 minute break, and that he was sure I would be fine.
I retreated into the small room and slowly ******** off, there was a full length mirror, and while taking off my clothes I looked at myself, and once I was fully naked - just before stepping out gave one last look, and tried to suppress the rising panic. Looking at my reflection I tried to pretend that my nerves had not had an effect on my genitals but I could see that they had and felt I was going to be exposing a singularly unimpressive organ. Also I had no awareness of things like bringing a robe or sandals etc. so  I opened the door and stepped out naked just as someone else entered the room, this appeared to be a teacher as he was older and had that 'artistic" untidy look. he gave me a brief nod and assumed another position with his drawing board resting on his knees. I quickly sat myself in a large arm chair , taking care to cross my legs and "casually' arrange my hand to cover my crotch.
Over the next 10 minutes 4 more people arrived one more older man and 3 more students- all male. Steve was easily the most attractive, blond tall slender, but all of them were quite attractive looking to me, and I in my virginal state was hoping that the erection that had made it's appearance a few days before would not be making an encore. The warm up poses I tried to focus on as something to keep my mind off my nervousness and be as flexible as I could while still trying to keep my hand in some way covering my self , or bending so a leg would do the job or trying rear views and as time passed I began to relax. after about 30 minutes and 5 poses someone said I could take a break. I retreated into my room and shut the door and tried to get comfortable with what I was doing. When I resumed the session I had 3 poses of about 15 minutes. and than another break. When I returned Steve and Martin were arranging a large lounger type chair with foot rest on a podium and fixing the lights.
"Are you ready for the long pose for the rest of the day? We'll do about 30 minutes then take a break for 30 and finish off with 2 more 30 minutes sessions, if that's OK? Alan"

As they finished up with the lounger , Steve casually said "Martin and I were wondering if we could do a ************ pose, if that's OK with everyone?"

The general response was kind of non commital muttering along the lines of "it's OK with me' "I don't care"etc. One of the teachers said- "If the model's OK with it ?" .  I did not get the impression that the question was directed at me  or even included me ,  I didn't get the impression that my feelings or thoughts were really anything that needed to be considered and so said nothing.  I never thought about whether I could refuse or ask to discuss it, it seemed more that the "artists " would decided if they wanted me to pose in that fashion, and if they did then that's what I needed to do.
I actually don't remember saying anything, But as I took a seat in the lounger, I think my mind was frozen, I lay back and Steve and Martin seemed to take control, "could you bend your right leg out to the side  and let it rest on the arm of the chair, and kind of stretch your left leg out straight out on the foot rest" , as I did so Martin used the lever on the side to adjust the foot rest so it dropped a little in the front, they both gathered up their stuff and got somewhat closer and the other guys also rearranged their positions, I noticed that one of the participants packed up his stuff and left.
"Could you move your left leg a little more out to the side so we can see what's happening down there", I guessed the 'down there" was my crotch
I felt the light that Steve was arranging was focused squarely on my crotch. And I started to feel very hot and bothered, and panicky.

note: written 11/20/2012:  It occurs to me that this request for a ************ pose must have been decided during one of the breaks, if they were used to getting  fat  older men, I doubt that they would have come up with such an erotic pose.

When everything was 'arranged', I found myself not sure what to do, the 7 artists were all looking expectantly at me, but no one was drawing, finally Steve spoke, "We're all set Alan, any time you're ready"   I finally found a voice
'Em, I'm not quite sure what you want me to do", my hands were kind of shrouding my crotch, "I mean do you want me to just look like I'm doing it, or do you really want me to **********, I think i might get hard, I don't know if that's something I could control, I'm sorry ?"
"Oh we are doing life drawing so we would like the real thing, so we're looking for actual ************ and yes,  we are hoping that you will get hard, we would really like  like to see you with an erection if possible, that's what we're all hoping to see" this was Martin and I was beginning to think that my first impression that he and Steve were good guys was wrong and in fact they were setting me up to make a fool of myself and that if I did go ahead and do it that suddenly everyone would be laughing and pointing a finger etc.  But then I thought well, I've agreed to do this and that's what they're asking me to do, and for all i knew this was just a typical request before an interesting pose that all models had to comply with, ' I'm not sure that I can", I quietly muttered , more to myself than anyone else, i don't think anyone heard me. It never occured to me that I could say no or quit.
There was a few moments when I hesitated and looked around the group who all seemed to be looking expectantly at me, and slowly I started moving my foreskin backwards and forwards on a very unenthusiastic penis.  and I had a panicky thought thinking "I'm not going to be able to do this" However after a few minutes hormones, my untried sexuality and the whole set up started to have an impact and soon I was holding my erect member in my right hand and my balls in my left.  I had closed my eyes while i concentrated and tried to get an erection, I opened them and found myself the focus of 7 pairs of eyes, no one was drawing they all seemed to be just looking at me- or more to the point -my ****.  I thought for a moment that I must hade misunderstood, and then-because I'd never seen nyone else ********** that perhaps I was doing it wrong or something.   "Is this ok?' Nobody said anything but then  Martin did:
"Well actually could you open out your crotch a little bit more" , I did what I thought he meant, 'Is this better?'
"No it's not quite what I'm looking for". He walked up to me and said "Do you mind if I touch you,'
I don't know if I said anything, but he put his hand on the inside of my thigh and said" "this is the part I'm looking to get more power from, I hope that you don't mind but  I'd really like to see  some more thrust from your crotch",  and kind of pushed my thigh outwards, he looked around, and said 'let's try this' he took one of those rolled ups cushions, the kind that looks like a tootsie roll or liquorice allsort, "let's see what it looks like if I put this under your hips"  well I was still ************ and so took my left hand off my balls and used it to lift my hips while he slipped the cushion underneath me, at this point I noticed that as I was no longer holding them in place , and I was still ******* my **** that my balls were now bouncing around only a few inches away from him( If you're wondering why I was still ******* my ****, I can only say it didn't occur to me to stop). I settled back on the cushion and realized that it had thrust my crotch up more blatantly I suppose, so I did understand what he meant, I guess it made the pose more in your face,  it certainly made a very erotic pose even more  difficult to ignore, and he seemed happy, I think this finer point in the pose was more his concern than any body elses.  The lounger had been set so that iwas sort of propped up with my lags spread out , he made one more adjustment using the lever he tilted the chair so I was almost stretched out flat, my head and upper shoulders were still raised somewha so i could see everyone and the room in front of me, but the thrust of my crotch was now even more in evidence as I was lamost streched flat out.  'Yeah, that more like what I was looking for".   I couldn't help but wonder what everyone was thinking of me.

"That's great Alan" said Steve and gave a smile and a nod,  The older teacher kind of shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head from side to side  . one of the others gave a thumbs up and Martin nodded ,  "Very good, very good indeed"

 It was strange to find myself adjusting to this whole set up so quickly, and my mind flashed back to my first interview where I had sported the hard on, and then arriving for this session full of nerves that I might get aroused and now being asked to do so.   As I gamely stroked away, I started to get quite objective about the whole process and realized that from a professional point of view I had to focus my energies on what I was doing.  As a horny teenager I think that when I *********** for my own pleasure I was, I suppose, in a hurry wanted to get to the ******, *** and so on.  Now I was in a situation that I needed to not ***. I had to keep going for another 90 minuted basically- even with a break .  I adjusted pretty quickly.  

After about 15 minutes , I heard the door opening and a rattle of pots or something, A voice called out "Tea Up" and around the corner Teddy the doorman appeared carrying a tray with mugs, teapot, milk and sugar. I nervously coughed and looked at the group , expecting someone to consider that someone new had entere the environment, someone who I was exposing myself to in this explicit pose and that they would, tell me to break or tell Teddy to come back later, but no one seemed to notice my unease  He went from artist to artist distributing mugs to most of them, I was aware that he was looking at me with more than a little interest.  Of course when he entered once again it made me feel freshly exposed and  embarrassed.  By the time he got to me, he was of course closer than anyone had been and i could see he was looking directly at my erection.  "Want some tea, mate?"
"yes please", "Sugar?"  "Yes", "How many?" I said "Two, please" and he set the mug down a foot or so away from me on a nearby table.   As he was talking to me I had looked at him now Martin spoke again,, "Alan, you've move your head,  can you get back to looking at your ****?".  

"Sorry" and duly complied as Teddy left the room I could see that he was still looking at me.  
I got back to the job "in Hand" and at some point noticed that the pose was presenting me, because of the lounger being on an elevated platform and me lying almost flat out, with my crotch thrust up and out with an almost 3-D effect of the artists all looking up at me, my **** being pretty fully erect most of the time and the artists all arranged in a semi-circle around me.  The perspective made my **** look very big compared to the faces in the background.    After about 15 minutes the 30 minute break was called. 
"Let me just mark your pose, Alan"  Steve grabbed a roll of tape and stepped up to me, again i was struck how almost surreal this all was, I had had to process so much in just a few days, first he marked the top of my shoulders, then asked me to lift my arms so he could run some tap marking my hips, then, he was in front of me with a big smile on his face as he ran tape by my legs and thighs, and just under my balls, you have to remember i was still ******* off at this time, and he was very close,  he gave a wink and said "you can stop and take a break now".    I got dressed and when I left the changing room every one had left . I wandered around looking at the work in progress, Steve's was the most detailed and life like, Martins' was charcoal and very "active" , the man I supposed was a teacher, was not -it seemed to me , very complementary, very modern and fleshy,  one of the other's was quite ok, the other 2 made me wonder if they really needed me as I couldn't't see much evidence that they did, one also was a portrait which made me feel a little strange to be up there in front of him, ************ and him just drawing my head.    I decided to have a wander around the building,  and in doing so came to the doorman's office again, Teddy was sitting inside, apparently talking to someone I couldn't't see " You want another cuppa?"  he called out, I said yes and stepped in. The other person was apparently another doorman.  "Fred, this is the model Alan,  you should see him in there, they've got him having a ****, you've got a lovely looking knob Alan"  As I said he was very camp, but as a well brought young man. I politely responded "Thank you very much" and blushed.  Fred was old enough to be my grandfather but very amiable,  "That right , you in there having a ****, cor I wouldn't mind seeing that, I nice looking lad like you, I bet you have got a very lovely knob", he chuckled as he said it, and I realized that he and the Teddy were gay, the first official gay people i had ever met. I drank my tea and moved on - around the corner there was a cafeteria, but as I was broke and anyway nervous about who might be in there and what they might think of me I gave that a miss, but I could see some of the people who had been drawing me inside.  And then it was time to return to the studio.

  The first thing that i noticed was that there  were 2 more people present, as they didn't have art materials, my naivete left me and I realized that they must have heard about the pose and wanted to observe it.  After getting undressed again, I emerged and felt just as exposed as I had before , the newcomers were  leaning against the wall at the rear of the room,  and I could feel them checking me out, and then it occurred to me that some of the participants must be gay, of course that wasn't the word i used in my head, but i realized that I was ************ in front of people that were not just viewing me in an artistic way.  As i settled in the chair and tried to arrange myself within the taped guidelines Steve walked up and gave me a Boots(the Chemist) bag, "I thought you might be getting a little  dry up there"   Inside was a tube of KY jelly, I'd never heard of it, and didn't know what it was for. But I said "Thanks"
Continued :
   As I looked around me I tried hard to focus on the job in hand,  I hadn't started ************ just trying to get the position right, being particularly aware of the tapes, "Is this right?'
"You need to scoot down a little with your hips"
Giving a look at the 2 newcomers, and remembering that I had been looking at my **** before- although this allowed me the flexibility to look up and around,  the newcomers for some reason really threw me off, I told myself that I had to get on with it, but it just felt even more  strange to do the pose with people apparently just watching.  A part of me wanted to say "Are you just going to watch?" or even "I don't think I want to do this pose if you're not going to draw", but of course I didn't and I'm sure all of you reading this who have worked as models, have experienced casual onlookers or passer bys appearing in the art studios and nobody ever asks the model if it's ok or if they mind, and so once again I started to roll back my foreskin , as I began to firm up- it was a turn on- the 'teacher" said your left hand's not right. Well I am right handed so ,I was grasping my shaft with that hand and my left was at the base of my ****, I didn't know what was wrong and finally had to ask for help, "well before we could see your balls, now we can't, your hand is covering them", I pulled my balls out to the side and attempted to put them on display, "No , what you had was 2 fingers above them and 2 fingers below " I corrected the pose and started getting hard again, , as I looked up I could see the 2 newcomers looking at each other and raising eyebrows and looking like they were smirking, and for the first time, it occured to me that perhaps the request to pose ************ was out of the ordinary, but I was committed now,  so I gamely carried on, although I could see that one of them was visibly hard in his crotch area., which actually helped stimulate me,although being 19 I didn't really need any help.  This time around- once I got used to the apparently "casual" observers I actually started to just find the whole experience enjoyable,  at some point I realized I I was having a little "seepage" problem but I sneakily used my thumb to smear it around the head of my **** and gamely carried on, But after a while I did start to get somewhat sore. I didn't want to say anything so carried on until the break was called. But my exchange with Teddy and Fred, did make me wonder if I did in fact have a nice looking knob, not having seen anyone elses's , I would have liked some feedback re: my ability as a model and if I was doing ok, and if they liked the way i looked. 

When the break was called, before  I could get up and get back to the changing room, one of the artists, who I hadn't really noticed that much, kind of nerdy, small, glasses, tentatively approached me and said "Could I just keep you a few extra minutes", he was clutching a small sketchpad, " I'm Jewish and i'd just like a little closer look, if you don't mind".  Again a side note here, growing up in suburban England,my family was not religious, I was aware of catholics and Church of England-IE protestants, but it did not make a big impact in my life, I had been to Church 3 times, -2 weddings and 1 funeral.  Although aware of the Jewish faith, I had not been conscious of ever meeting any, obviously i had,  but I just never had thought about it , so when he said he was Jewish I thought "What difference does it make if he comes from Israel?".   What I said  was "OK", he grabbed a stool and sat quite close to me and started sketching, with a very earnest expression,  I meanwhile was still gamely  stroking my erection.  The 2 newcomers  approached him and stood behind him as if they were studying his drawing. After a moment he said " Could you stop that for a moment and just  hold it still",  which I did.  He was chewing his lower lip and  was so focused on my crotch, that  I remember slightly thrusting my crotch up and holding my **** out  at a slightly different angle to give him an even better view.  I think subconsciously this was probably the first time that my psyche realized that there was an exhibitionist streak in me.   With my butt elevated by being on the cushion, me holding my hard **** for close inspection for the 3 of them there was a part of me -I think- that enjoyed this extra attention.

( Here another sidebar.  I have quite ambivalent feelings about  vistors in the  life studio,. In my time -particularly at Schools/ universities etc. I have had amongst others, plumbers/ electricians/ janitors, secrateries, appear and attend to jobs .. most of the time no one says anything like "do you mind?" and I get a bit of a kick out of it.  But at the same time I find it very insensitive  and unprofessional for the participants not to ask me if I mind, after all I am being paid to exhibit myself to the artists, not anybody who passes by)  

 After several minutes i was at last able to relax, he thanked me  "Very much", and returned to his easel. Which left the 2  bystanders in close proximity, gazing down at my still hard ****,  when they realized that no one was left drawing they  wandered away  It was a long time before i realized that when he said he was Jewish, the relevant factor was that he was circumcised and wanted a closer view of how an uncircumcised penis appeared when erect. obviously a standing nude without an erection would have not presented the same image as my erection  It's also funny thst  while i was posing ******* off, and then a break being called to stop stand up up wander over to the changing room with a hard ****, after all i wasn't posing just walking around with it sticking out, funny sensation.  When I got in the room I had more chance to examine the package that contained the KY. And kind of guessed what it was meant to "lubricate" . So when I went back for the final stint I did carry the tube with me, and self consciously unscrewed the cap and squeezed a little out and as I firmed up again  found it tremendously helpful with the soreness factor( I had after all been ************ for an hour).  
 This was going to be the final 30 minutes and was still feeling very odd about the whole thing, it suddenly popped into my head that I wouldn't be able to tell my parents what I had been doing , even if it had been just nude modeling- i wouldn't have, and now as i saw the end in view- so to speak- i started to get a little down.  Again a reminder- i was suddenly having sexual experiences for the first time with someone else in the room aside from myself, and even though it was an extreme situation overall it had been very exciting. Suddenly after about 10 minutes of this final session , i broke into an incredible sweat, I don't know if it was the lubricant, but I was suddenly dripping, it was even dripping off my hair and running down my face, and then I started to get a flood of pre-***, it just started flowing out of me, running down my **** shaft and of course my ************ hand was rubbing it back all over my ****, I think it was because I had normally at times of ************ got the whole process over with very quickly, I also hadn't *********** for several days- ever since the interview for the job, as I had thought it might calm the erection that I had initially been  concerned about getting(before I was requested to get one). I realized that I very much wanted to ***,  but I also knew that if  I did that i would lose the erection and funnily enough that just seemed very unprofessional.  But someone said in the back ground  "This is so cool".  I was on the brink and then I heard the door open again, And I could see the man who had hired me for the class - Mr Edwards, he was standing at the back of the room, dressed casually today just jeans and a sweater,  slowly he wandered around stopping to look at the work being done and looking up at me,  his entrance had stopped the threatening ****** and now I was back to dutifully milking my firm ****  as he got closer to me,  Finally he was just a foot away from me , i couldn't read his expression but there i was again in front of a new person ************, with a very  ***** streaked ****. He lent forward a little and said, "When you get through here, come back to see me in my office",  "OK"  I said, and he left the room.  I soldiered on and finally someone said "OK Alan, you're done, it was a great pose and you're a terrific model".,
So suddenly I was done, most of the participants packed up and left quite quickly, but I had a little problem getting myself together with the ***** that was oozing from me and I knew that if I got up I would be getting a trail of it, so for a few moments I didn't move,  Martin I think guessed my predicament, and came over, "I guess you could use a few of these" and handed me some tissues " Oh Thank you" and took them and started to -with some embarressment(it's not easy to be wiping KY and ***** off your **** with 2 people standing close by looking down at you) - clean myself up, as he stood looking down at me Steve -his friend also came over and started chatting, thanking  me for my efforts and he said I was the best model they had had for a long time, I felt pretty awkward , I knew if I got up now I would be standing naked with 2 attractive  young men, and although I had been handling myself pretty blatantly for the last 90 minutes, it still felt very strange.  "We've been wanting to do a ************ pose for some time but we never had a suitable model, then when we saw you today  we both had the same idea to ask you and when you agreed(I didn't remember being asked and I never voiced any agreement,)  it was just great, , I don't think either of us expected your being to keep your **** hard for the whole pose, it was very impressive"  the other one laughed and said  "What the **** or the fact that he kept it hard the whole time?'"  The other one replied laughingly "Both!" I had no idea what to say, even though I had been ************ in front of about 11 strangers for 90 minutes, I was still basically the same Shy nervous 19 year old that I was when i arrived.  Having a bantering conversation about my **** and erection was beyond me.  Eventually they also packed up and left, and i was able to get myself dressed and, leave the studio, before heading off to Mr Edwards office, I stopped off and washed my **** off in the rest room.

I hesitantly tapped on Mr Edwards door, and instead of calling out "Come in' he opened it and asked me to come and sit down.  "First Things first let's pay you for today, just to let you know if you were working as one of our regular models you would be paid weekly, including for toady, but as it was your first time, we'll make it a cash payment", I didn't even count it , I just thrust it in my pocket, "Would you like some coffee, I need to discuss a few hings with you"  I accepted the coffee and waited, I was sitting in an arm chair and he was resting on the edge of his desk.

"I am some what concerned about what I saw in the studio, When i first interviewed you on Wednesday, and asked you to ***** off you did get an erection,  which was unusual, and then today I find you ************ for the group, I have to tell you I have never had this happen, we do have female students and you must realize that erections would not be expected and to pose and  ********** is totally unacceptable, this cannot happen"

I swallowed and blushed and didn't know quite what to say,   finally I said " They told me to pose that way, it wasn't my idea"
"Why didn't you say 'no'?"
" I didn't think it was my place to say 'No', I've never done this before when they said they wanted me to pose like that I just did it because I thought that was what I was supposed to do".
 "Well, going forward, we need you to avoid this,"  Some other stuff was said and then he said " Well , I would like you to ***** off again for me and let's see if you  can  model without an erection".  The door to the posing area I had used before, was closed and he didn't make any effort to open it or indicate that was where he wanted me to go,   I  asked "Here?
"Yes , here"
As i started removing my clothes again, I realized that although I had been nude in front of him before and had spent 3 hours with a group in a very sexual situation, that I still was just as embarrassed and nervous. And when 
I got down to my underpants, I even asked "These too?
"Yes, those too- everything".  There was a solid looking coffee table situated a few feet in front of his desk, once I was nude, he said he'd like me to stand on that - facing his desk,  he told me to put my hands on my hips and stand with my feet about shoulder width apart, a straight forward ,  looking straight ahead pose. As I assumed this pose I still had not really adjusted to the whole thing,  he meanwhile sat on the edge of his desk, looking at me,  " Just to let you know I am going to spend a fair amount of time looking at your crotch, as that is the area I'm concerned about, and just to let you know I will be paying you for this extra time."  After a while he changed his position so he was looking at me from the side, and started to chat, I think the way I described this it sounds like he was being unfriendly, but he wasn't not at all, just very straightforward, after about 10 minutes he said  " You seem to be doing fine, no signs of anything untoward happening" I thanked him and said that I think I would be fine
"You said  nobody asked you if you would mind posing in an aroused state"
"I don't want to get anyone in trouble, one of the teachers, said something, about it being OK with me, but I never said anything, I was too nervous"
"Teachers? There were no teachers present, there was Bob who's a bank manager, the one with the moustache, I don't know about the other older man,  but he's not one of our teachers".
 It seemed very odd, the notion of ************ in front of a Bank manager.

" As this seems to be working out ok, we might see about some future engagements, but let me stress ,it would be very inappropriate for you to get an erection in front of any of out female students, we're all human and nature can play a part in this, but I would want you to make a particular effort to avoid getting aroused in front of them.' Without thinking, I said " I dont' think being nude in front of females would cause me to get an erection",  Mr Edwards had resumed his posititon leaning against his desk a few feet in front of me.
"Oh, .... are you gay?" he asked after a slight hesitiation.  I had noticed a phtotgraph on his desk of him and a woman and a child , i had never discussed "gay" issues or anything pertaining to sexuality at all with anyone, and I felt particularly vulnerable standing there naked in front of him, I didn't know quite how to deal with the question thinking,something along the lines of "what's he going to think of  if I say I'm gay, getting naked and ************ in front of a group of men".  So I answered "I'm not sure."
"Well do you have a girlfriend..... a boyfriend,  who do you have sex with?"  I didn't want to say "Myself", and he really just seemed to be asking general qustions in a "chatty' way " Erm, I don't, "  
"Well who do find attractive?" and then too easily it just popped out, 
" I think you're very handsome"
He didn't say anything for a moment, and I felt very conscious of a charge in the air, " Oh you do? Well thank you,  I take that as a compliment"  Suddenly the atmosphere became tense, as he continued to look at me I could feel myself getting hard again, he looked down at my erection and smiled a little,  after another moment he got up and approached me, he stood in front of me for a few moments, looking at my face then looked down back at my erection, like he was thinking about something, and then he reached out and place his hand under my balls, cupping them. 

   I held my breath , and wondered "Am I going to have sex?... for the first time"   I hadn't really allowed myself to think about finding  Mr Edwards sexually attractive, too intimidated by his role as employer, but with this simple gesture, I realized that I did find him very attractive and sexy.As I think back it seems to me that he was a litttle like Richard Gere with his prematuarly  silver hair, I had originally thought him to be about 40 but I think he was probably mid 30's it was just his silver hair that made him look a little older.  If I was going to have him as my first sex partner, I was going to be thrilled.  Not sure what to do next I just stood there maintaining the standing pose, fightened to make a move.  He moved his hand from under my balls and grasped my **** in an overhand grip and slowly started to stroke me,  I was wondering what I should be doing when there was suddenly a knock at the door.

Mr Edwards quickly removed his hand and went to the back room I had originally undressed in he beckoned me in and a moment later returned with my clothes in his hand, he whispered "best get dressed' and shut the door- oops sudden interruption will have to continue later.

It occurs to me that maybe I am sharing too much in my story, as the group is Art models, I am not sure if I should continuew with what happens after this point..  If anyone reading this would like me to continue, please let me know as I don't wish to offend anyone.  
Continuing(Sorry about the long gap!)

I quickly got dressed, I was somewhat disappointed, having thought that finally I might actually have sex with someone,  I had not gon along to the modelling job, expecting this, but after the initial interview, the ************ pose and then the follow up with Mr Reynolds, I was nervously anticipating "something" happening, inexperienced as i was and Uninformed as i was-i wasn't even sure of what I was expecting.

As I got dressed I tried to hear what was being said, The school was a very Old, large and Solid building.  The walls were thick and the door solid, so i couldn't really hear, but i could hear some raised voices and it seemed like there was some kind of argument going on.  I instinctively felt it had to do with me, I don't know why.

I waited for what seemed like quite a long time struggling to try and understand what was being said.  After some time the door opened and Mr Reynolds asked me to join him.

As I stepped into the room I was somewhat taken back by the sight of a very large-tall- man.  I would estimate him to be about 6' 6"  , middle aged and with a shock of curly white hair, he was dressed in a cable knit sweater, jeans and boots.  The overall impression was of an irish or Scottish fisherman.   Mr Reynolds introduced him as Scotty,  It quickly became apparent that the loud "argument" was actually because  Scotty had some kind of speech problem, a very pronounce stutter, and perhaps Tourette's syndrome. 

Mr Reynolds, asked me to sit down and told me that Scotty was one of their artist's in residence- i didn't even know what this meant- and that he was interested in using me for a special project, and would i be interested.  Of course I said 'yes'.

On the coffe table that I had been standing on a few moments before , there was a large folder, opened out and on it were a collection of drawings, and photos.

Mr Reynolds explained that Scotty had heard about my session that day and had wanted to meet me.  By this time Scotty was talking- but I could not really uinderstand what he was saying- every time he started to speak it was prefixed by a terrible, stammer- I discovered later that when he was nervous that the problem was much worse.  he must have been very nervous that day.  As we looked down at the collection in his folder, his particular interest in me became apparent.
They photos were of sculptures, the famous ones of the Greek god dancing with an erection,  photos of abstract phallic sculptures, an awful -to me- looking Italian statue of a man sitting on a horse with an erection-the man not the horse!
And a lot of drawings.
It appeared that what he was planning on was a statue of a man on his knees leaning back and resting on his hands-behind him and displaying his erect ****.

Mr Reynolds explained that this was what Scotty was looking to get from me, and that it was a 3 week or more project.  Scotty said something which I didn't understand and Mr Reynolds said "He wants you to stand up"
( The problem with speech continued but I will not keep mentioning it)
Any way I stood up and Scotty walked around me  and started to try and say something else but couldn't manage to get it out and his frustration was very apparent, finally he kind of gave up and just came over to me and grabbed hold of my t-shirt and rolled it up and took it off me.   He started to feel my body-much like Mr Reynolds had on the first day that I had met him.  Scotty was far more aggressive, he took hold of my arms and had  me stretch them above my head and felt the muscles of my back and chest and stomach. As he did so he was trying to speak and I think Mr Reynolds understood more than I did.  He seemed(Scotty) to be quite happy with me and getting quite excited.  Without hesitation he unbuckled my belt and undid my flies and pushed my jeans down below my knees.  He felt my thighs and pushed the jeans down to my ankles and squatted down to feel my calf muscles. He was smiling and talking, but I still was having great problems understanding him.  Mr Reynolds was making sensible answers and it seemed as if all Scotty's remarks were very positive.  He took hold of my underpants and pulled them also down and stood up and surveyed me and said something.   
   Mr Reynolds, acted as translater " He wants you to take everything off. So I bent down and took my shoes and socks off and pulled the jeans and underwear off.  Scotty looked very pleased.  He picked up the folder from the table and indicated he wanted me to assume  the pose that he was looking for.-The kneeling man-leaning back on his hands. I did so and  he looked at me for some time and then looked back at his drawings,.  He pushed my knees further apart, and placed a hand behind my back to get me to arch my back a little so that my chest was thrust out, and a little lifted and said something ,  "he wants you to get an erection",  as I was leaning on my hands I let my mind do the work and within a short space of time I was posing with an erection, However  although I was erect, my **** was not fully exposed, Scotty, with no hesitation and no noticable inhibition, took hold of my **** and rolled my foreskin back.  ( At this time I should say, that I never got any impression from Scotty that he was gay.  I think that his focus was totally on the work that he wanted to produce, That he wanted a sculpture of a healthy young man conveing an erotic, powerful, potent image.  I don't think he even thought about the fact that he had taken hold of my **** so much as was just persuing his vision of his project, and he wanted my **** with a full erection and the head fully exposed him taiking my **** in his hand was just him gettitng my **** to look the way he saw in his vision.  I have to say here that sculptors do not have soft hands, his calloused dry hand was pretty shocking to feel taking hold of my firm ****. 

 After a few more minutes of conversation- primarily about how  as a model I was even more than he had hoped for. I was allowed to get dressed again and the  session was set up for the following 2 weeks- 3 hours a day Monday thru Friday with perhaps more hours if i was able to work at the weekends.  My first day would be the next day.      

ACE2010 ACE2010
46-50, M
11 Responses Sep 17, 2012

I've done lots of modeling for art classes, but I've never had an experience like that. It's interesting to hear about your experience. Sounds like fun.

I've done a fair amount of modeling over the years, mostly for a few years after the session I've described and then got back into it-a little- recently. At the time of this memory, I was too shy and insecure to find it literally fun. And I never have had such extreme situations since, in hindsight it seems more exciting now than it seemed at the time.

Great story

Hey there, thanks for response... I am working on what happened next, it might be a little different than what you might have expected given what happened initially, keep looking!

please continue with your telling your experience. we all have in our mind what comes next; but you tell it so much better than we imagin it. i have views similar to yours on art, look at the old masters; leonardo de vinci, michel angelo they did plenty of nuded. i lie what you describe better than most of their works and think it may be more true life than theirs. look at michel anglo's poor david, how humiliating>

Damn I am so turned on. Great story cannot wait to hear the rest.

Your story is extremely well written. The perfect blend of what you're feeling,your impressions, and who said what. I am surprised that you can recall in that detail, but then, it was a very strong impression on you, and I'm enjoying it very much. I'd love to read other stories of your experience as well. And I'll look out for additional stories from you on EP! Thanks again!

Hi Studfinder(What a Horny Name!) Thanks for your compliments andfor taking the time to read my story. As I wrote it more detail came back to me, so I have gone into a few times to insert those memories. There are a couple of extra turns that I have still to add. At the time I wrote it I was very naive, and it was before all the sexual molestation/ harrassment cases that now a similar situation might encounter. I'm glad that you as a straight man find my details enjoyable! I'll be reading some of your stories and follow up!

"Horny name".... What? Me? Horny?
Why yes, as a matter of fact... there is a double meaning there...

I agree that I should have been forwarned or at least taken aside to discuss the pose. What I think happened was that Steve and Martin, after seeing that I was young, in good shape and good looking (which i didn't realize at the time due to low self esteem) during one of the earlier breaks had discussed it and decided to go for the ************ pose. As it was presented I didn't really see a way out. It never occured me to just refuse and walk out. Perhaps because I was already nude and by the time I was in the lounger basically spreadeagled I just went with it and because of hormones, youth etc- whats' that saying? "young, dumb and full of ***"? I quickly found myself with my erect penis in hand and giving myself an extended hand job., at some point I started to enjoy the sensation of ************ with an audience.
I don't think they would have requested a similar pose from a female model, I think the circumstance of a small, all male group and me, worked in their favor. And of course a more experienced model, might have said" Now wait a minute...", but that's not what happened, I did find out later that Steve and Martin were gay so I think it was more than just an interesting pose for them . The others? well I think most people, if they're honest would admit that they would have looked and as an unusual and unlikely pose , inhibitions aside an open minded amatuer or professional artist would take advantage of the rare opportunity that was presented.

Steve and Martin? Is that a joke name? Steve Martin, the comedian?

Hey Studfinder, the only names, that I changed were where last names were involved, Like "Mr Reynolds" . Its funny that when I started on this story that i only expected it to be quite a brief memory, but as I wrote more the details came back to me!

A wonderful story, and it's funny how the memory will unwind more and more, as we think upon it. I enjoyed it a lot and hope that you will write and share more of your experiences. Surely, this wasn't the end....

Yes I will finish this one out , there are a couple of twists, which I think will be arousing, it's good to read that your a basically straight male enjoying your bi side, is this a recent development? Are you just interested in the bi-side or have you actually gone beyond interest?

1 More Response

To be sure, there is an erotic element in most nude life drawing. If that erotic factor can be channeled into the creation of art rather than serving as titillation for the artists, so much the better. It is, after all, "life" drawing. A bland, inert session of artists drawing a piece of meat benefits no one.

My challenge to the group in question is based on their taking advantage of an inexperienced model to create a highly-charged scenario that evidently fit their fantasies, without a clear forewarning that it would be happening.

If a life model, male or female, knows in advance that a group wants an erotic or openly sexual context in the poses, and is free to accept or reject the premise before setting foot in the studio or classroom, I have not the slightest issue with it. Were I told before my turn on the dais that my group wanted me to pose with my hand wrapped around my stiff willy, I would have done so, concerned only with that constant contact resulting in an oopsie. :-)

My objection is not to the nature of the session, but to the way it was handled. I get the impression that they pulled an "Oh, by the way, we want you to ..." on a new model after the fact. If nothing else, that was dishonest if not deceptive.

That said, if you got through it and emerged wiser and more cautious, then it was valuable.

Peace and blessings!

Hi Korman,
Thanks for your response. I am quite envious that your initial modeling experience was for a gay men's drawing group. My experience actually was at a very prestigious school, I think all of the participants were very legitimate. I learned that the 2 students that requested the ************ pose were actually gay at a later date. It never occured to me to walk out, too timid and insecure at the time, I just thought that I needed to oblige with the expectation. And that if anything I should have thought more about what might be expected of me, I just went with the flow I guess.
I have noticed that in this art modelling group that a number of people, male and female models and artists have expressed how life drawing is not an sexual situation and that sexual expression should not rear it's head( or any other part of it's anatomy). I feel quite differently. Although I have modelled in situations(the majority) where it was not expected and would have been inappropriate, I have had ,over the years, occassional requests to pose in a more explicit fashion, very rarely. I don't per se think that is wrong, a number of legitimate artists, Egon Scheile and Gustav Klimt come to mind. I see no problem with it if that's what the artist wants and if the model is willing. I find it somewhat odd for so many to find something wrong about exprssing/ depicting the sexual element in art. Many of the nudes are-particularly female subjects, obviously sensual and arousing, if an artist wants to take it I a step further I regard it as a legitimate option. Although I think it should be indicated to the model beforehand that this would be desired. I think it's ratherodd that an artist or model should frown on any form of arousal in life drawing situations, erections are part of life, sometimes we want them and sometimes they just occur, if they do I don't think that they should be regarded as "wrong", if not desired they will soon pass, if they are welcome, I don't see anything wrong.

Although my modeling "career" began in the 60s with a gay men's drawing group, the homoerotic tenor that you described was conspicuously absent. The occasional woody did show up, but it was neither requested nor discouraged. The guys usually just bantered about it. It was simply part of the process.

I most likely would have walked out of the session that ACE2010 described. Those "artists" were more interested in gay soft **** than in art. There's a time and a place for it, but a life drawing session is not it.

Peace and blessings!

Thanks, was that the whole story?