I don't remember ever really believing in "God" at all. I went to Sunday School with cousins when I was a kid because their grandmother thought I needed the lord in my life. I remember as a kid being afraid to think that I don't believe in god so I guess on some level I must have believed god existed but at some point I thought to myself that I really don't believe in god and lightning did not strike me dead so after that I was fine with not believing. I did go through a period of time when I was 19 where I tried to believe in god. I felt like hundreds of millions of people couldn't possibly be wrong. I went to a couple different churches and just found myself feeling like the crap the pastor was spewing was BS and realized I was glad I didn't have to sit there every week and listen to someone talk about some invisible man in the sky and preach about things that don't fit into my own personal values. At this point in my life I feel free for not being a part of religion.
shybbw shybbw
26-30, F
4 Responses Jul 29, 2010

Glad to see a fellow atheist here. I've been one all my life, I think. Too long to explain myself, but I am known on several sites as an atheist. Some sites are atheist sites, some are not. I'm glad to be one. I hope there are many more here, too.

Your last line was nicely put, MG. To shybbw: I've only been on this site for about a week, and for the first time in my life, I am finding people that I can relate to in coming to terms with reality. I've tried to force myself to believe in a divine entity, but years of searching the bible, and of personal attempts at discovering the truth, I became increasingly more certain that it has been the biggest hoax of all time. Sadly, it is difficult to openly express a "non-belief" when it comes to religion. It's as if people think you have to have some kind of religion to be "normal". In all honesty, in this little corner of Montana, it's almost a crime, punishable by death, for not believing in God. I'm so glad I found this site to help me connect with other like-minded people. Like the religious colonists of early America, I wish there was a place were people like me could go to start a new life, free from persecution.

I'd like to be able to believe, if even just to explain the unexplainable, but I can't force myself to. The believers whose best retaliation to my disbelief is "Look outside!" don't help. Lolol!

Hi! I liked your story, sounds a little like what I went through. Have a great day!