Denial

My parents finally found out I'm an atheist. Now she is in denial and thinks nothing ever happened and whats worse is that she is still making me do the conformation thing for church(which i think is crap). I mean its my beliefs so i don't get why she thinks its a big deal.

InnerVoices InnerVoices
18-21, M
9 Responses Mar 2, 2009

Abstaining from communion due to lack of belief is not tantamount to lying to god, if you hold no belief in god.<br />
If I am asked to go to church I always take communion, I view it as milk and cookies after a long day at school when I was young, you just have to remember, no dunking.<br />
As for getting your mom off your back, might I suggest you go to your moms priest or minister, tell he or she that you are not a believer, I assure you they will keep you from confirmation as you are asked to make a vow before you are confirmed.

I know it must be difficult to be forced to go to church when you don't believe but it's a good time for you to practice tolerance and understanding. (I promise im not a christian, just frustrated at how intolerance is spreading like wildfire) <br />
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In the meantime, i would talk to your mom rationally about taking communion as it really shouldn't be taken by non-believers. It's about the same as "lying to god" to take communion for something you don't believe in.<br />
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Good luck with your parents, im sure you are counting down the days until you are 18, im seriously lucky my parents were disinterested in my religious development, and i only had to go to church randomly.

I also went with the flow regarding the stupid religious festivals until I was old enough to break free. Even so I never missed an opportunity to question their beliefs and where possible point out the illogicality of their adherence to superstition. Small victories I know but they sustained me until I reached adulthood and then did my own thing. We all get on great now. I suppose when I didn't grow horns convinced them ..

I find it is easiest to not share who you are with people that only want to change you, sometimes that includes parents. When you are a kid you don't have choices on where you go. As long as they aren't harming you then it is best to not put up a fight. Once you become an adult you will be free. It seemed like I had broken from prison they day I moved out and I have never looked back. HUGS Good Luck

My guess is that it's a big deal to her because she's afraid for your soul. These people are so delusional that they think people like us will burn in hell for all of eternity. So the compassionate ones worry about us--no one would want eternal fire and brimstone for their loved ones, you know?

Hi InnerVoices. I had the same dilemma as you. I knew I was not a believer when it came time to make my confirmation. To keep the peace in my family, I went along with it, sad the whole day, but my parents were proud. i don't know how old you are but if you are a teenager as I was then, I just went about my life, living their lie until I was able to be who I am today. My mother got over the fact I am an Atheist. Your mother will either accept it, or she won't. I hate to say this but, It's going to be her problem, not yours. We all want to please our parents. But they have to respect us too, especially when we're adults.<br />
I wish you the best,<br />
Jojo

Hmmm... maybe i will try that who knows

Lol, that's very possible InnerVoices, but maybe she's just ignorant to your beliefs. Have you tried justifying them to her? Show her why you believe what you do and maybe she'll "see the light". I believe ignorance is a very prominent issue in this country especially and needs to be dealt with. Maybe showing her everything you believe is wrong with her beliefs could help, as unlike her you can see both sides of the spectrum. Best of luck to you.

I actually tried talking to her about it and it kinda made things worse cause now she thinks im a "devil spawn" (her words not mine). If you ask me i think she just mad cause shes a *****