Customer Service Calls to "God"

Customer Service Calls to God

Support Rep: Good afternoon. Thank you for calling God. This is Reshawnda speaking. How may I assist you today? Woman Caller: (Distraught) I-I need to speak to God. Support Rep: I'm sorry, everybody does. Perhaps there's something I can assist you with? Woman Caller: M-My father... he's... in a coma. Support Rep: Okay. May I get your ID number, ma'am? Woman Caller: What? I don't have... Support Rep: It's on the back of your bible. Woman Caller: (The receiver is jostled. Pause) ...56839? Support Rep: Okay, ma'am. Are you somewhere close to your father where you can also hold the phone? Woman Caller: Yes. Please, I-I just want to ask God... to look out for my father... and... deliver him from-- Support Rep: Okay, ma'am. I just activated your father. Try him now. Father: (In background) Mary? What's going on? Woman Caller: Oh my God! He's awake!! Support Rep: Is there anything else I can assist you with today? Woman Caller: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!! Support Rep: You're welcome, ma'am. May I ask you to take a few moments to participate in a brief sur-- (Line goes dead.)
Support Rep: Thank you for calling God. My name is Todd. How may I assist you today? Male Caller: Yes, I would like to submit a complaint. I recently-- Support Rep: Please hold. ("Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffett plays over the line. The song fades out...) Recording: Did you know that you can now pray to God online? Just log on to It's free and easy. Try it today. ¿Sabías que puedes ahora rogar a dios en línea? Apenas señalar-- Support Rep: (Cuts in) Complaints. This is Janice. Male Caller: Hello, Janice. I recently submitted a prayer to God asking that the Phoenix Suns win the divisional playoffs. And they were knocked out in the first round 4 to 1. Support Rep: Can I get your ID number, sir? Male Caller: 83628. And I'm very upset because I had season tickets and we had a whole trip planned to-- Support Rep: I'm sorry, sir, but your account status doesn't cover frivolous prayers such as lotteries, stock portfolios or sporting events. Male Caller: I see. Support Rep: Would you like to upgrade to Evangelical?
Recording: Hello, I'm an automated operator. In order to properly direct your call, please say the name of your religion. Caller: Buddhism. Recording: Sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you say it again for me? Caller: Buddhism! Recording: Sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you say-- Caller: BUDDHISM! Recording: Sorry, I didn't catch that. Could-- Caller: BOO-DIZ-UMM!!!! Recording: Sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you say it again for me? Caller: (Sighs) Christianity. Recording: Very good. Let's proceed...
JojoWazoo JojoWazoo
46-50, F
4 Responses Mar 22, 2009

Thanks! I needed a laugh this afternoon. :)

I got a great e-mail video this evening but I don't know how to find the URL to post it for you guys. :-(

lol, yea, pretty funny stuff!