Heading back to the cities from backwater USA, and OMG the religion in everything makes me crave a hot bath. My toddler wasn't feeling up for quiet time so I missed the memorial service portion of my husband's uncle's funeral, but my husband summarized for me something disturbing and upsetting I have heard from a few of you: the pastor used the funeral as an opportunity to talk about his concerns of people walking away from religion. If church attendance is at a record low, maybe churches and their ministry need to reevaluate how they fit in with society's views. Religions must conform or die a slow and painful death. Are gods like fairies? One dies every time we say we don't believe? ;) I kid, I kid.
frostyflower frostyflower
31-35, F
5 Responses Jul 26, 2015

Seriously!? Theu used memorial time to preach about attendance? If that had been my family I would have stopped them right in the middle and tore em a new one -if one of my other family members didn't beat me to it

Where I like religious folks spawn everywhere. handing out cards. I always get chills when strangers end conversations with God bless you because I like to tell them "Sorry I'm not religious" But I know I shoot myself in the foot.


That is a cynical attempt to scare you none believers into joining the church and paying his salary.
The pastor knows many in the congregation in a funeral are none believers who come just out of respect to the family of the deceased.

That pastor is concerned for his job. Dwindling attendance is on his mind and he speaks about it. A dying person is leaving the fold.
Maybe his church doesn't invest enough in sound equipment, large screen TVs and other attractive technology to keep and attract members.
I've watched this happen in churches, what they lack in spirituality and truth they compensate for with hi-tech gear. I mean if your hymnal is on an iPad, you've got something.

Honestly the pastor is extended family from out if town, I think the decedent's uncle. But yes, it is a last bit to save his own job, and, you know, the damned souls of nearly the whole first row of family, as many of us are clearly very liberal and agnostic at "best" lol

lol "The Curch App"

OH! I almost forgot the saddest part! My husband's uncle was a closeted cross-dresser, possibly transgender. I don't blame him one bit for hiding it, considering the ultra conservative and religious attitude of the area, but it deeply saddens me to know that he was such a quiet and reserved man because he very truly never felt like he could open up and be himself.

So sorry to hear about your husband uncle, I hope your husband is taking it well.

And wow, it's super sad when **** like that happens, I'm going to put it in my will not to have a minister of any type to precede over my funeral.

Bloody leaches all of them

Thank you. It was pancreatic and liver cancer. His uncle knew for 6 weeks before telling us, we took emergency time off of work last weekend to visit him, and he was hospitalized as we traveled, so he was in the hospital for 2 days of our visit, told on Saturday an optimistic 6 months, and then died the next day at noon. My husband is quite explosive and suffers anxiety and depression, so he lashed out a bit at first, but quickly got past that and came together with the family to help get everything resolved.

I've recently completed a package of documents, power of attorney, will, physician's directive and such. Included with instructions for my final care are statements telling my family I don't want a funeral in a church, and do not want a preacher to preside or any sort of religious trappings or speeches.
I do suggest that if they hold a memorial service for me, to play some of my favorite classical music and open some bottles of wine. I've generally enjoyed my life so far. No sense bringing everyone down.

I feel the same. Give me a wake rather than a funeral. Everybody get drunk and eat good food remembering the good times, I'll foot the bill ;)

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