What A Shock

   Here it is another widely advertised e-harmony free weekend.( Happy new year!) I filled out the profile without a grain of B.S. When I went to review my matches it told me to go away. No matches ,no nothing, just a personality profile stating that I am too analytical. Think before I act too much. Have too much control over my emotions. Don't care enough about money. Am too unstructured and creative to be tied to the rules. I thought these were positive attributes but I guess I was wrong.

They say:

You are best described as:( agreeableness) TAKING CARE OF OTHERS AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You( exerpt): You are best described as: TAKING CARE OF OTHERS AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF For people who are ruled by tender-hearted compassion, your more diplomatic response to problems might seem too cool, too focused on fairness and not filled enough with sympathy and selflessness .


  Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You( exerpt): Many people, perhaps the majority, will come to appreciate your balance as a compassionate person. The more they get to know you, the more they will admire your thoughtful compassion for others and its compliment in the sensible ways you take good care of yourself.

On the Openness Dimension you are:  SOMETIMES CURIOUS, SOMETIMES CONTENT


Negative Reactions Others May Have toward your style of thinking:  Not everyone will be thrilled by your flexible, middle-of-the-road ways of thinking and believing. A few people are so taken with flights of imagination into whatever is new that they might find your commitment to long-standing values and beliefs too confining, if not too boring. Oh well; so be it. They'll just have to be in free flight without you.

 Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You:  You are accepting of others, flexible in your own intellectual commitments, well-informed in areas that matter to you, and comfortably aware of who you are and where you stand. This combination will make you a desirable companion on the intellectual journey for many, many people             


Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You:    When it comes to dealing with emotions we all meet some people with whom we don't match well. You bring a balanced approach to your emotional life. As such, those who are at the extremes are most likely to have a negative reaction to you. Those who live in their emotions may feel you tend to "live in your head" while those who go through life as an emotional rock may feel that you are a bit too "touchy feely" for their approach.

 Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You : Many people will be grateful to find a friend like you who can stay in control when emotions verge on chaos, but who can also go into the tangle of emotions when it is safe and appropriate to do so. Because of your ability to engage them at whatever level they are comfortable, to adapt to whatever changes in emotion emerge in the conversation, and to cope so well with all of it - well, they'll be very glad they found a person like you. You may, in fact, wind up as something of an emotional mentor. Your awareness of the emotional temperature of a situation, your ability to adapt to either heat or cold, and your ability to cope with whatever winds up happening in the conversation could be models for them to follow as they come to terms with their own emotional worlds. 

Conscientiousness       Your approach toward your obligations is:  FLEXIBLE 

People may have problems with your style for two reasons. First, you don't always follow the rules or go along with detailed plans, whether at work or at home. Those who need the details to stay on task just don't quite understand how you are going to get it all done. Second, while you get things done - the way you veer off course at times and use your creativity may leave others wondering what went on. Some people find all this creativity and thinking "out-of-the-box" at odds with their desire to follow a clear course. And this causes not only some confusion it may also spark some anger toward you at times. Even you would likely admit that living and working with you takes someone who is able to let you do your thing at times. If someone is really tied to a rigid approach to how things should get done, there is clearly the potential for some conflict with you.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
The truth is that your work style gets things done, often with more beauty, fun, creativity and imagination than others could ever manage. But your style is very unique to you. Flexibility is essential to your style. With your creativity and flexibility the path you take to any goal can make everyone's accomplishments more inventive and enjoyable. Bringing some extra enjoyment to people's work can be a real asset; one you may want to use more consciously.

When it comes to Extraversion you are:   RESERVED

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You: You may occasionally run into problems with other people. Particularly those who may want more from you than you want to contribute, ones who may feel that by holding back you're not holding up your end of the social bargain. Others may guess, correctly, that there is a wealth in you that they would like to tap into, but may assume that you are unwilling to share. Their positive expectations will be confirmed on those occasions when you do open up. But your social style is one you have developed carefully and positively.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You:

While some people can be frustrated by your thoughtful manner, others will appreciate you, and it won't take them long for them to realize that you are one of those who values depth and substance over flash and casualness. Even in private conversations there are times when you are more willing to listen than to open up. They will appreciate having more time to share their own thoughts and more of the spotlight than you care for. It is also likely that when you do choose to contribute they will listen because they've learned that you speak from a deep well of contemplation and reflection. It may take you some time, but if you're thoughtful about it, you will find a few friends who understand your reserved nature and will enjoy certain social situations in which you are fairly comfortable and in which people are equally as comfortable with you.


There you have a seemingly accurate personality profile. I guess I'm too set in my ways for them to consider me a match for anyone. (That explains the divorce...lol) To be honest, I suppose I haven't met anyone in a long time who is like minded. My friends tend to be totally different than me because that's what makes them interesting and fun to spend time with.   ^~^



Alterede Alterede
51-55, M
6 Responses Dec 29, 2009

I think they're exclusionary factor was that I niether have a lot of income or care about it. I never lived for the future ,only the moment.What I had once I gave away and there's no secure future in any of that

ok why even bother with that bs love is something that finds you, you dont find it. keep your eyes and your heart open and when an opportunity comes your way jump on it just live your life love will find you =)

oh yeah i feel the same way, i always have matches but they are always people who live far away, i guess the good girls live far away from me, where i live, none of them are friendly and prefer to lets say "sleep with the neighbourhood boys" and those are the ones that are like cool and have looks, but to be honest, e harmony is just like all those other matching sites, its not for free, you have to pay to chat to your matches and theres not alot of matches to start off with. i wouldnt say i;m a reject, but i live far away from the good girls. I was honest with my profile too, but i guess i;m probably too different to get alot of matches.

If their assessment of you is correct, (and you say it is), then I must say....WTF??? lol My favorite part was the emorion part:<br />
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"On Emotional Stability you are: SOMETIMES STEADY,SOMETIMES RESPONSIVE<br />
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Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You: When it comes to dealing with emotions we all meet some people with whom we don't match well. You bring a balanced approach to your emotional life. As such, those who are at the extremes are most likely to have a negative reaction to you."<br />
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In order words, you are balanced and steady but crazy people might not like you!<br />
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When it comes to Extraversion you are: RESERVED<br />
Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You:<br />
While some people can be frustrated by your thoughtful manner, others will appreciate you...ummmm, people will be frustrated that you are thoughtful?<br />
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You say maybe you are too set in your ways, at honestly, at your age, you should have many set ways. But others would see you as being steady as a rock and find that appealing (aka desirable)...so WTF eHarmony??? lol That just tells me the site is scam.

It's basically a marketing ploy, sexy, slick and full of promise....but lacking in long term loyalty. I feel your disenchantment.

I was curious so I tried e-harmony. I got the same thing... maybe we should date. =P