I Fight For Freedom

I've been 'Emo' since around the age of 10. Suprising right? I started to like 'Emo' bands but in my opinion they were just really good bands. The kids at my elemtery school would always belittle me for that since they were the a** holes who would wear their pants down to their knees or the girls who would do the f****** duck face and skinny arm. Anyway, it was like a living hell. There is nothing I can do to explain the feeling of being so weak and helpless. I never told my parents since I was scared of the kids taking it a step further and start to abuse me physically. One of them had already tried to punch me and push me into the lockers. I had my favorite band pictures in my locker and whenever I opened the door, the kids would say, oh look. She listens to that emo ****** music. It would upset me but I never changed for the pleasure of others. When ever there was a dress down day I was always the only one wearing dark colors, graphic t-shirts that covered everythig, no shorts, and black leather ankle boots/chucks *converse*. They called me ******, they called me a **** even though every girl wore the same uniform and I was the only one that didn't have to be told to pull the skirt down since it was to high. The thing that hurt the most, they made racist comments about me. I'm Asian so they spoke in that dumbass Asian accent, make their eyes squinty, told me to go back to my own country, etc. I wanted to die at the time and would come home to another hell since my dad wanted me to b like every other **** on this planet and listen to one direction or Justin Bieber. My mom keeps me from buying certain clothes because she doesn't want me to look 'rediculous'. In all reality, their embarrassed of me. I do cut but I don't do it because I can, I do it because to me it's like someone smoking. Whenever they inhale the smoke, they feel relifef. Whenever i cut, i feel relief and this wave of peace comes over me. I put on a happy mask to keep my parents and the rest of this world satisfied. Even this guy that liked me fell for the mask. Once he saw the real me, he ran away. No one can accept the person I want to be and I say, fine I don't care. I want to be a unique individual and do things everyone else doesn't do, I want to look different, I want to listen to differ music, I want my freedom to be a person
dissapearingstorm dissapearingstorm
13-15, F
Jan 20, 2013