...but Of A Different Sort It Seems.

I have always been able to pick up on people's emotions, but instead of it helping me with relationships with people like it seems to work with most empaths, it seems to have the opposite effect with me. I can see people for what they really are, when they're being fake/phoney, whether they are good or bad. A good thing to have in some situations, but having to deal with people at work sucks.

I have a really hard time putting up a friendly front with people I have to work with but I am unconfortable around and/or I pick up are unconfortable around me. I will never be able to "network" or hang around people just to get ahead at work; it literally makes my skin crawl.

I'm a programmer so thankfully I don't have to deal with people all that much, but I can forget about ever being promoted because I will never like or be liked enough by the higher-ups in order for that to happen.
FaithInFate FaithInFate
46-50, F
7 Responses Jul 12, 2010

Brooks,<br />
What is true or not is a matter of choice. This is seen in people as to the choices they have made.. that is what is seen. It is then seen as a choice you could also make. People are but a reflection of our selves..many religions have a saying "there, though by the grace of god go I"..<br />
To like or not like what is seen (in others) is a choice.. so we in short hand say "I don't like them" when it is really... I do not want that choice.. <br />
It is a small trap but it grows into bigger ones..<br />
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It is easy to have the words we use lead us into a way of life.. this is a constant.. it is what keeps keeps people in the Psychology industry busy.<br />
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Being sensitive is being aware. When I at long last decided to no longer fight what was in me.. I found that so as to distinguish what I was feeling was to start with myself.. What is hate in me.. what is passion.. what is... on and on it went. Having found myself.. I could then find where (else) these feeling were coming from.. What I found was that hate is hate.. no matter where it originates.. and so on. This is also true for judgement.. it feels the same when I do it as it does when others judge me.. rightly or wrongly. What it also does is stop any diologue.. with me or them.. again.. it seems such a simple thing.. but it builds into giving yourself permission to judge.<br />
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And.. isn't that what others do in judging you..?? though many see this as a right for them.. to do.. because they alone see the "true" nature of or in others..<br />
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What is true, at least to me, after my time in finding my own nature.. true is not at all as true as it once was. As Albert Einstein said... "Reality is an illusion.................. " and more and more I see how right he was.. and as science progresses.. they too must now agree with him..though some with great reluctance.<br />
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.................................................. Lou<br />
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.......................................... Lou

I understand how you feel, FaithinFate.<br />
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But Lou2012, I'm afraid I disagree with you. I don't see how FiF is passing judgement. As an empath, can't she/he see the truer aspects of someone than probably they can? This isn't a feeling born of a superficial sensation. It is deeper than that, as you know. If you don't like what you see, you just don't like what you see. I've sensed things about people I don't like, and I can't get away from them fast enough. I've tried to interact with people that make me feel this way and always regretted it. I wish I HAD avoided them from them at the start as FaithinFate has.<br />
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I hope you are recognized for your talents, FaithinFate. I know what it feels like to work in an environment were you see through everyone and you don't like what you see. I didn't realize at the time I was an empath. I, too, had a very difficult time and kept to myself. I'm glad I did, because I realize now that things would have been much worse if I had let these toxic people into my life.

I've had similar experiences combook, but didn't trust it and ended up paying the price. <br />
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What you see with me is who I am, and until very recently I believed everyone else was the same way. It never occured to me that some people were not who they said and acted to be for their own personal gain, so when their behavior didn't match what I felt about them, I always figured it was just me being stupid. I was being stupid alright... stupid not to listen to my gut and run like hell!!!<br />
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I am almost 42 and I'm still very naiive when it comes to these kind of things. I'm trying to change that now; better late than never.

Its gratifying to hear this from one who has learned so early in life.<br />
Good job..................... Lou

I can understand that. I have learned over the years to separate my emotions from those of others. The ability to pick up on others' emotions is a gift, usually a learned gift but sometimes an oddity of nature. <br />
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It's a difficult thing to explain to others, so I learned as a teen never to discuss that with others. My parents sent me to a therapist who said it's more common that most think; he told my parents to accept my claim, which they eventually did with enough experience around me. <br />
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The first big breakthrough with them was the time I told my dad not to trust his financial advisor, that he was almost certainly a con man and nowhere near as smart as they believed. I added some (later proven correct) details that few could have known about the man. Within two months after telling my parents that, the man was arrested for fraud, shortly before my parents would have invested most of their savings with him.<br />
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That ability is a great advantage over those who don't have it. The trick is not to let their psyche affect yours. They can only affect you if you allow them to do so.<br />
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Good luck on your journey through life.

Faith,<br />
On being empathic.. one learns to insulate. For the most part this is learning to recognize what you see in others.. Recognize you already do.. yet you are judgeing what you see and there is the conflict.<br />
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By tacit recognition of what you see the conflict will just not be there.. this is the state for extending your sensitive way of life. We.. all humans are born empathic... yet as we learn to build a life in this world.. we forget or set aside so much. The language of the empath is emotions.. and we all understand them.. no matter where or when you were born.<br />
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The world we live in has many languages and ways of life.. this is thinking.. something that is greatly needed to simply live in this world.<br />
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Learn the great differences between thinking and feeling.. then simply recognize, without judgement what you see in others. Then you will at least be rid of the conflict and know why it is gone. Those around you also see what you see.. and they too judge.. so the conlict is ongoing.<br />
<br />
Lou

I feel the same. I'd rather hide in my office all day instead of interacting with others. I'm flabergasted when people say so-and-so is an amazing person, and I feel I see right past the BS.<br />
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I'm also bad at small talk and fail to see the point!