The Selfish ConflictEmpaths are often portrayed like cliches - all caring, giving and unselfish. Well, I'm an empath who struggles with the caring, the giving and am quite selfish. Every empathic encounter takes from you, which is generally fine because empaths seem to have swollen emotional reserves, but even the largest dam can run dry. You get caught up in the moment and then find that all those moments have taken your time and resources, and there's little left for you.
The consequences have meant that I've become a little narcissistic, which is almost anathema to the stereotype of an empath. It's like closing the windows so that the breeze of other people's feelings no longer filters in. Or finding a safe distance where you can still let your empathy out for some air, even if on a tight leash.
The nice guy good friend has needs too. But he (or she) is always on the giving end, until he or she can give no more. I still well up when I witness passion in others. But my own passions have always stepped aside for the passions of others. I'm trying to be selfish, and not succeeding too well. And closing those windows hurts people around me. Being narcissistic provokes such guilt, yet seems necessary. It's like my own mental health depends on something that makes me feel guilty. I guess there-in lies the conflict.
narrator 51-55, M 11 Responses 9 Jan 26, 2012